i learned the truth at 16

October 30, 2008 i was just surfing the net, looking for something to help pass the time. then i stumbled upon my 16-year old cousin's page. her shout-out says:

"Hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag iisa, kundi ang pagtanggap na sa bilyun-bilyong tao sa mundo, wala man lang nakipaglaban upang makasama ka.." (trans: what's hard about being alone is not being lonely or afraid. it's accepting that out of the billions of people in the world, not one fought to be with you..)

hmmmm... it sucks to get in-your-face with something like that. and from a 16 year old at that.

it gets me thinking, just how much am i willing to give up, how much am i willing to do, to be with someone? how will one know when someone is worth fighting for till the end? or when they are not?

or better yet, will anyone ever have the courage to fight all odds to be with me? do i posses that thing that makes someone worth fighting for?

i don't know. i guess i'll just have to wait and see. for now i just have to trust my instincts and keep going forward. i will never know any answers to any of my questions just by sitting still in fear. there are choices you have to make now, no matter how unsure you are of the outcome.

life is like one big labyrinth. Every choice you make, you make a turn. some will lead to dead ends, some to what seems like an endless struggle to find the next turn,, you can never really tell if your making the right turn while you're doing it... or maybe there's just really no wrong or right turn. what matters is you never give up, you never stop picking yourself up, backing up at every dead end or seeing a long scary path through, not until you reach that final turn where everything becomes clear, and you'll know, you're right where you're supposed to be.

todo na itech!

bwahahahaha! in fairview pasado ang lola mo. pero yamu, im sure, kuha mo ito, lampas 100 pa! hahahaha! shiyet

+++

ayaw ko muna magsalita ng tapos pero basta. hehehe! i have a surprise. :D

Lights. Camera. ACTION!

October 12, 2008 i cant understand how some people live their lives, how some of them think and act. its like watching a movie in an extra big screen, only there's no screen, the antagonist that you thought only exist within the confines of that 4 cornered white sheet seem to be standing right next to you, ready to strike and stab you to death once you turn your back. its sureal.

i was brought up to believe in people, that everyone has goodness in them. that no matter how f*cked up one seems to be, there's that one spark of goodness hidden within.

but not this one,,, its like she was born to oppose everything that i believe is good in the human race...

how else can one in his or her right mind think the way she does.

what i cant take is deliberately putting people in the crossfire. Using people who shouldn't be dragged into this, all for one selfish, and quite frankly, stupid, desire.

We all know what this is all about. We all know how you are. if you have any decency left, if there really is love that you feel for the people that you say you love, then you know what to do, or rather what not to do. they don't deserve to be puppets in your fantasy world, wake up, the world does not revolve around you. whatever your feeling now, you brought that on yourself, don't make the people who have nothing to do with it suffer it for you.

i know karma is a far bigger b*tch than me, but you can count on this b*tch to give her sister a hand. one of these days you're gonna get what you deserve, just you wait.

reunited

October 08, 2008 and it feels so goooooooood...

random dashboard

so you wont have a hard time buying gifts for me this christmas, here's my long list: (i know, ang aga)

1. Macbook
2. DSLR Camera
3. Diving Equip (in this order: mask, snorkel, fins, wetsuit, regulator, BCD, tank)
4. Dive trip (tubataha or kota k or apo reef or palau...keri na hehe)
5. Shopping spree at Ross/Home depot/Target
6. shoes, any kind with heels not higher than 2" (im 7 1/2)
7. my first ever havaianas (brazzziiiilllll)
8. a beanbag or a cool comfy chair
9. flat screen TV, hehe.
10. a year supply of booze (if beer, RH lang pls)
11. Art materials (any medium, from crayons and coloring books to canvass and acrylics)
12. Drumset or Kahon. (wlang pilosopo)
13. Oven. i want to bake.
14. punching bag and gloves
15. a leather basketball.


Of course, Money is always the best. that way you know i will get what i really want.

And look at it this way, if you give me any of my top 5, i can consider that as an early bday gift as well. hehe :)

Pa-Fedex nalang ah, PM me for my address hehehehe! thanks dear santa clauses!

behind the wheel

still the same ciara, just with more work and longer messier hair. ah and yes, a certified diver now, not that i have the time and money to dive anyway. maybe by november/december/january soon.

traffic jam

linkages

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on reverse

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GPS system

this is my way to stalk all you readers. mwahahahahahahaha! coolness!

credits

1 & 2