*ding* *ding* *ding*

November 03, 2006 i happened to stumble upon jim paredes' daughter(what's her name again?)'s blog, and reading through her thoughts and sentiments was more like getting hit by a lightning bolt than just actually browsing..

she had described in her posts how she felt about moving (they migrated to either Australia or NZ, im not very sure), and although her's were to an ocean away, and mine but a bus ride, i totally understood what she was saying.

i was not alone. there are two of us going through the same deal.

she also describe "angst" in her posts and i had to reread it about 5 more times because it wont totally sink in.

am i just seeing things? is this just an illusion of some sort, something to bring me back to sanity-or-not?

after 5 retakes, apparently it wasnt. she had described something that i have been trying my ass to define for weeks, even months. and when it came to me, i started to understand myself more. what im going through.

so yes, i might just actually be like her, going through an "adult angst" of some sort. at least im no longer left dazed and confused, or for most part, crying my eyeballs out. i dont need to figure things out anymore, or try to rationalize everything, she had perfectly described my being in a single page.

and sure, things would most probably change, for good or bad, i cant be too sure. but at least now i can sleep at night knowing im not alone, and that after the longest time of struggling i have finally found my balance, now i can ride up or down any kind of slope life brings in front of me, joyride na to.

random dashboard

so you wont have a hard time buying gifts for me this christmas, here's my long list: (i know, ang aga)

1. Macbook
2. DSLR Camera
3. Diving Equip (in this order: mask, snorkel, fins, wetsuit, regulator, BCD, tank)
4. Dive trip (tubataha or kota k or apo reef or palau...keri na hehe)
5. Shopping spree at Ross/Home depot/Target
6. shoes, any kind with heels not higher than 2" (im 7 1/2)
7. my first ever havaianas (brazzziiiilllll)
8. a beanbag or a cool comfy chair
9. flat screen TV, hehe.
10. a year supply of booze (if beer, RH lang pls)
11. Art materials (any medium, from crayons and coloring books to canvass and acrylics)
12. Drumset or Kahon. (wlang pilosopo)
13. Oven. i want to bake.
14. punching bag and gloves
15. a leather basketball.


Of course, Money is always the best. that way you know i will get what i really want.

And look at it this way, if you give me any of my top 5, i can consider that as an early bday gift as well. hehe :)

Pa-Fedex nalang ah, PM me for my address hehehehe! thanks dear santa clauses!

behind the wheel

still the same ciara, just with more work and longer messier hair. ah and yes, a certified diver now, not that i have the time and money to dive anyway. maybe by november/december/january soon.

traffic jam

linkages

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[pajammy] [jessica zafra] [post secret] [howie severino] [ala-ism] [jim paredes] [mitch dulce] [intrigero] [scotland]

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on reverse

12/03 01/04 02/04 03/04 04/04 05/04 06/04 07/04 08/04 09/04 10/04 11/04 12/04 01/05 02/05 03/05 04/05 05/05 06/05 07/05 08/05 09/05 10/05 11/05 12/05 01/06 02/06 03/06 04/06 05/06 06/06 07/06 08/06 09/06 10/06 11/06 12/06 01/07 02/07 03/07 04/07 05/07 06/07 07/07 08/07 09/07 10/07 11/07 12/07 01/08 02/08 03/08 04/08 05/08 06/08 07/08 08/08 09/08 10/08 11/08 12/08 01/09 02/09 10/09 12/09 08/10  

GPS system

this is my way to stalk all you readers. mwahahahahahahaha! coolness!

credits

1 & 2