last two minutes.

October 23, 2006 It’s hard when you’re trying to impress everyone. You blindly follow what they want or, most of the time, what they “feel like” at the moment. And it sucks because in the process, you slowly lose yourself. And when you do try to find it, whatever that is, you find that it’s just a bit too late.

But in my world, you are expected to kiss ass. That’s part of the job description. And I can’t help but feel like a mime, trapped in my world of silence. Interacting, but not really. Expressing myself – but not really.

I know that I, just like a lot of young adults trying to make room for themselves in this world, are being judged, mostly against our will, and most of the time, wrongly. It’s devastating to face the fact that one mistake can make all your achievement seem miniscule, even abolished.

All that hard work just vanished into thin air.

Everything is lost in translation, and you’ll be left getting misunderstood. If only they videotape your every move and review it properly before someone says anything bad, or misinterprets your action. If only thought bubbles can be seen, emoticons animate the top of one’s head. Then maybe you really can say that you have nothing to explain. That you did what you had to do and did it with everything you got.

But of course, that’s impossible.

If only they could tell everything that’s going thru my head lately. I’m not asking for pity, I’m only asking to not be judged so harshly. Is that too much to ask?

random dashboard

so you wont have a hard time buying gifts for me this christmas, here's my long list: (i know, ang aga)

1. Macbook
2. DSLR Camera
3. Diving Equip (in this order: mask, snorkel, fins, wetsuit, regulator, BCD, tank)
4. Dive trip (tubataha or kota k or apo reef or palau...keri na hehe)
5. Shopping spree at Ross/Home depot/Target
6. shoes, any kind with heels not higher than 2" (im 7 1/2)
7. my first ever havaianas (brazzziiiilllll)
8. a beanbag or a cool comfy chair
9. flat screen TV, hehe.
10. a year supply of booze (if beer, RH lang pls)
11. Art materials (any medium, from crayons and coloring books to canvass and acrylics)
12. Drumset or Kahon. (wlang pilosopo)
13. Oven. i want to bake.
14. punching bag and gloves
15. a leather basketball.


Of course, Money is always the best. that way you know i will get what i really want.

And look at it this way, if you give me any of my top 5, i can consider that as an early bday gift as well. hehe :)

Pa-Fedex nalang ah, PM me for my address hehehehe! thanks dear santa clauses!

behind the wheel

still the same ciara, just with more work and longer messier hair. ah and yes, a certified diver now, not that i have the time and money to dive anyway. maybe by november/december/january soon.

traffic jam

linkages

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on reverse

12/03 01/04 02/04 03/04 04/04 05/04 06/04 07/04 08/04 09/04 10/04 11/04 12/04 01/05 02/05 03/05 04/05 05/05 06/05 07/05 08/05 09/05 10/05 11/05 12/05 01/06 02/06 03/06 04/06 05/06 06/06 07/06 08/06 09/06 10/06 11/06 12/06 01/07 02/07 03/07 04/07 05/07 06/07 07/07 08/07 09/07 10/07 11/07 12/07 01/08 02/08 03/08 04/08 05/08 06/08 07/08 08/08 09/08 10/08 11/08 12/08 01/09 02/09 10/09 12/09 08/10  

GPS system

this is my way to stalk all you readers. mwahahahahahahaha! coolness!

credits

1 & 2