not again!!

June 20, 2006 i find myself, once again, trapped in a mess that i myself created. i know its not right but somehow i cant seem to pull myself out of it. punyeta.

bakit ba naman kasi mojica, alam mo naman ang tama sa mali, bakit di ka makapagpigil? bakit di ka makahindi? ano to, meron na bang nangyayari ayaw mo lang aminin sa sarili mo? are you starting to fall? pucha yan.

ang hirap kasi baka yan ka nanaman, iiwan mo yung isa, masasaktan mo, yet again, pero in the end babalik ka ren. di ka na tatanggapin. anlaki na nyang gagu, kahit ako di kita tatanggapin.

anakngtinola!

breath in...

breath out...

take your time, pero sana naman kasi dont do anything that can make the situation more complicated than it already is. nagawa ka ng sarili mong multo eh.

why are you such a sucker for guys who are nice to you? sa bagay, who wouldn't want to be treated like a princess. di araw araw nakakabulag ka ng lalake na malalaglag sayo, na ngayon mejo may pagkanakakatakot na nga kasi sa sobrang expressive nya he becomes too clingy, almost possessive. bihira ang lalakeng ganun in fairness. normally girls are the one who are clingy. but not this guy,

he doesnt care if you have a bf, that has been very clear thru his actions. but he has told you over and over again, mostly during the times when you try (and yet failed) to reject him, that he knows na friends lang kayo, na for you he's just a friend. but that never stopped him

totoong tao ba to? meron ba talagang ganyan magmahal? oa ata.nakakagulat coz he'd only known you for some time now. and you try to be the anti-type. you show your gross side, you become too honest, and bitchy at times. and yet he never falters.

at shempre ikaw naman you're not used to that kind of attention, although you do try to push him away, you cant, at least not totally. ano ba tlga? meron na ba... nagwowork ba ang pag-e A for Effort nya???

pero parang you're still not convinced eh. kaya mo bang tagalan ang tulad nya? lahat na ata ng ssive nasa kanya. he can be aggressive, possessive, and yes obsessive. nakakatakot ata yan. you're used to being free, yes you have a boyfriend but you still do as you please. you are not obliged to report every step you take. but somehow with him you feel na ganun ang mangyayari diba? ngayon palang na "friends" kayo, nagseselos na sya, nasasaktan mo na, nagiging protective na (uy a cousin of ssives, si ive...)

this is a wierd wierd feeling. wag mo sanayin sarili mo na anjan sya. pero kasi ayaw naman nya umalis. anu baaaaaa! di ka single!!! why are you acting like you are??

ganto ba lagi storya ko? di ko parin ba nahahanap yung katapat ko? yung tlgang makakapagpatino sakin? can it be him? or him?

where are you.

i need to see the light.

breath in...

breath out...

random dashboard

so you wont have a hard time buying gifts for me this christmas, here's my long list: (i know, ang aga)

1. Macbook
2. DSLR Camera
3. Diving Equip (in this order: mask, snorkel, fins, wetsuit, regulator, BCD, tank)
4. Dive trip (tubataha or kota k or apo reef or palau...keri na hehe)
5. Shopping spree at Ross/Home depot/Target
6. shoes, any kind with heels not higher than 2" (im 7 1/2)
7. my first ever havaianas (brazzziiiilllll)
8. a beanbag or a cool comfy chair
9. flat screen TV, hehe.
10. a year supply of booze (if beer, RH lang pls)
11. Art materials (any medium, from crayons and coloring books to canvass and acrylics)
12. Drumset or Kahon. (wlang pilosopo)
13. Oven. i want to bake.
14. punching bag and gloves
15. a leather basketball.


Of course, Money is always the best. that way you know i will get what i really want.

And look at it this way, if you give me any of my top 5, i can consider that as an early bday gift as well. hehe :)

Pa-Fedex nalang ah, PM me for my address hehehehe! thanks dear santa clauses!

behind the wheel

still the same ciara, just with more work and longer messier hair. ah and yes, a certified diver now, not that i have the time and money to dive anyway. maybe by november/december/january soon.

traffic jam

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on reverse

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GPS system

this is my way to stalk all you readers. mwahahahahahahaha! coolness!

credits

1 & 2