Bangkok was uber fun

June 16, 2006
But can i stop there, just for this post. im too tired to relive those 4 days. (btw thats a real stinky elephant behind me. just sad i did not get to ride his trunk, blame it on my stupidity of not changing my money for a single bhat)

anyway had my first client meeting a while ago, it was f*ckin nerve wrecking. and yeah, its not about media. this time i tried to convince our clients that i can do an ad. yeah. a real print ad

o well, i hope this works out. i plan to camp here at the office for the next few months. hehehehehe! i have 4 projects with them and although i believe that they are nice people, i still have this feeling that they'd strip me and hang me by the makati ave walkway for everyone to see.

my fear of not being good enough has gone hayward. ive been crying religiously for it. and i hate it. i know, i know, there's no time for me to think negative, i have deadlines and more deadlines by living 2 lives. but i cant seem to take that out of the equation. melodramatic i know, and people might start to get tired of it. but thats real, i am scared to death that id go and do something then in the end i'd just disappoint those who supported me.

that's why im very uncomfortable with compliments. its like if i did something right and someone compliments me for it, i have to do much better the next time... its killing the fun out of everything,,its even killing me.

ive had a hard time holding back tears last night, but i eventually managed to, i think. the pressure was just too much im sure i had to find some kind of release but since i have scuba diving lessons last night, i cant drink. and as of saturday, ive been trying really hard to be cigar free.

pray that the plan, and the material, get approved before the target breakdate, i still have 3 more to go if this goes well...

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have been overusing my ipod, it has scratches all over. im such a lazy klutz. i wont be too surprised if i crack this open one of this days. the first in ipod history.

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head the creative division...why does that sound too good to be true??

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i think i hurt some people lately, without meaning to of course, but still i managed to hurt them. im so bad, i know. i might as well tattoo that in my forehead.

im not really sure why i do the things i do. but i take full responsibility for them. im not gonna point my finger, whatever happened for the past weeks, good and bad, was my doing, partly or wholly, and no i dont deny that. and im not gonna make some excuse for it. it happened. happenED.

i just hope i can straighten out my act sooner rather than later. from now on im gonna focus on my work (well come to think of it, now that the project is in full blast, id probably have no time for other things anyway.) and yes getting my diving lisence. im excited for anilao.

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are you sure you miss the person or do you just miss the way he makes you feel?

that is the question.
My most true mind thus maketh mine eye untrue

random dashboard

so you wont have a hard time buying gifts for me this christmas, here's my long list: (i know, ang aga)

1. Macbook
2. DSLR Camera
3. Diving Equip (in this order: mask, snorkel, fins, wetsuit, regulator, BCD, tank)
4. Dive trip (tubataha or kota k or apo reef or palau...keri na hehe)
5. Shopping spree at Ross/Home depot/Target
6. shoes, any kind with heels not higher than 2" (im 7 1/2)
7. my first ever havaianas (brazzziiiilllll)
8. a beanbag or a cool comfy chair
9. flat screen TV, hehe.
10. a year supply of booze (if beer, RH lang pls)
11. Art materials (any medium, from crayons and coloring books to canvass and acrylics)
12. Drumset or Kahon. (wlang pilosopo)
13. Oven. i want to bake.
14. punching bag and gloves
15. a leather basketball.


Of course, Money is always the best. that way you know i will get what i really want.

And look at it this way, if you give me any of my top 5, i can consider that as an early bday gift as well. hehe :)

Pa-Fedex nalang ah, PM me for my address hehehehe! thanks dear santa clauses!

behind the wheel

still the same ciara, just with more work and longer messier hair. ah and yes, a certified diver now, not that i have the time and money to dive anyway. maybe by november/december/january soon.

traffic jam

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on reverse

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GPS system

this is my way to stalk all you readers. mwahahahahahahaha! coolness!

credits

1 & 2