Just say NO

May 25, 2006 Why can't I say no? I have no idea. lam ko naman what's right from wrong, and yet I get myself covered in deep sh*t just coz i can't properly execute a simple two letter word. i hate it.

in a weeks time i've done the unthinkable. there are 7 people who knows this and im aware that they can probably use this against me in the future, which im desperately hoping they wouldn't.

hay...

can i just disappear? i wish i was single, then i wont feel so guilty. i mean i know for a fact that whatever happened, it meant absolutely nothing to me. it just happened, that's all. i am admittedly weak. but you know, there are issues involved, and im sure when *he* finds out, im gonna be dead.

stupid cupid stop pickin on me!

Hey you,

May 16, 2006 I don't know what your problem is. but i dont like how your being all bithcy around me. i mean i have to give it to you, you're no plastic, but then again, im not really sure what i did to deserve such treatment.

i try so much not to get in your way, but the world is too small you know. i know you can play dirty, i can too. only you're far too ahead of the game than i am. im aware you can crush me with such force i wont even know till you're done. ive seen you, i have heard you plot your revenge out loud for people who tried to cross you.

but what the hell did i do? believe me im clueless. we were getting along quite well before, but then all of a sudden i feel you remarking your teritory and keeping me out. yes, you're civil, but then i can feel the coldness beyond that. the way you make the most of putting me down whenever you have the chance. the way you make me feel like im not there when were just in the same room...

i know i shouldnt mind, i mean i know i cant please everybody, but you're getting to my nerves already. i dont want to disrespect you or anything. i dont want to hate you, please dont give me a reason to.

Me

at random

May 05, 2006 ..alam mo yung feeling na -- parang may galit sayo. that for some reason you suddenly feel ackward whenever they are around. you were once in good terms then all of a sudden you feel like they are isolating you, or he or she isolates his or herself from you. when you happen to meet in a hall, it's like you're not even there, not a nod, even a glance. its wierd coz i have no idea what i did, if he or she was really mad at me. all i know is he or she became cold all of a sudden. but im afraid to confront her. i dont want to sound paranoid when id find out that wala naman talagang issue, its all in my head. is it? i cant figure it out.

..may mga tao talagang pinanganak na bastos, pinanganak na user, pinanganak na kayang samantalahin ang kabutihan ng iba. yun lang.

..i dreamt about you one night. and it made me realize just how much i miss having you near. just a text and you'd call me to make sure im ok. that was what happened in my dream. i was having the worst day of my life when suddenly you came, just in time. ang galing. i miss being with you friend. how are you?

..sometimes i wish i had 10 hands instead of just 2.

..there are times that i want to keep you all to myself. but that's selfish...and i have no right in the first place. bad trip. why do i feel this way. why do i get iritated everytime. wala naman akong magawa. i hate you. what are you doing to me!!

..i miss the beach. buti im going there tom. and i have a hammock. yey!

My most true mind thus maketh mine eye untrue

random dashboard

so you wont have a hard time buying gifts for me this christmas, here's my long list: (i know, ang aga)

1. Macbook
2. DSLR Camera
3. Diving Equip (in this order: mask, snorkel, fins, wetsuit, regulator, BCD, tank)
4. Dive trip (tubataha or kota k or apo reef or palau...keri na hehe)
5. Shopping spree at Ross/Home depot/Target
6. shoes, any kind with heels not higher than 2" (im 7 1/2)
7. my first ever havaianas (brazzziiiilllll)
8. a beanbag or a cool comfy chair
9. flat screen TV, hehe.
10. a year supply of booze (if beer, RH lang pls)
11. Art materials (any medium, from crayons and coloring books to canvass and acrylics)
12. Drumset or Kahon. (wlang pilosopo)
13. Oven. i want to bake.
14. punching bag and gloves
15. a leather basketball.


Of course, Money is always the best. that way you know i will get what i really want.

And look at it this way, if you give me any of my top 5, i can consider that as an early bday gift as well. hehe :)

Pa-Fedex nalang ah, PM me for my address hehehehe! thanks dear santa clauses!

behind the wheel

still the same ciara, just with more work and longer messier hair. ah and yes, a certified diver now, not that i have the time and money to dive anyway. maybe by november/december/january soon.

traffic jam

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on reverse

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GPS system

this is my way to stalk all you readers. mwahahahahahahaha! coolness!

credits

1 & 2