20 going 30

January 05, 2006 i know i only aged a year, but it feels like 10.

its not based on looks, although i look alot more like a racoon now than a 21 yr old woman. definitely not the height eventhough i effing would love to add some more inches there.

i just feel like a mom now. why?

well for one thing, i earn money and i shoulder all my expenses. even the expenses of others. like my sisters who eats when i do and most of the time leaves me to pay the bill. well, we all have to eat, i dont mind. tipid na sa lahat wag lang sa pagkain diba?

my cousin varrie who's currently in high school. im saving about 500 a month for his schooling coz they're not really that well off and they are like 4 in the family, so my mom told me that since im working already, i should be the one to help him graduate. and im determined to do just that, little by little.

and well, kat has one subject left and she already spent all her money so i lent her money to pay for her tuition.

dont get me wrong im not complaining. it actually gives me a sense of accomplishment. from having to ask for everything while i was studying, now i dont have to. and moreover, im helping other people on the way.

i call it investing money wisely. ive always believed that education is essential to one's success. so there's where i invest. i may not get the money back, but at least i know i spent it well. and what comes back is more than just what i have given.

gawd, see, im using words like investment, and education essential and success in one sentence. i sound like a mom.

oh and i enjoy going to the grocery store. less the lining up. hehehehe!

and, remarkably, i shifted from being a party animal to a homebody. id rather chill in my house or one of my friends' than go to a bar id have to squeeze myself in to. id choose reading a good book at a beach somewhere, or lie facing up an endless sea of stars than blind myself with the neon lights of street parties with blasting music that you cant even talk to the person beside you without hurting your throat. i enjoy music, sure, but a good conversation sounds even better. drowning myself in music is only good when im alone and i want to think (yes funny, most would like to think at a quiet head, i do it while singing loudly inside my head)

i guess i have grown up, more rapidly than i expected that i would. its scary, and at the same time exciting. its something new yet familiar to me. and im loving it.

of course growing up never meant to me that i have to kill that child within. its very much alive as a matter of fact. sometimes i think i have split personality tendencies, schizo even.. well that would be interesting. hahahahaha!

note though that i still havent slowed down on drinking. i guess drinking for me is just like wine, i just get better at it as i age. hahahaha!

random dashboard

so you wont have a hard time buying gifts for me this christmas, here's my long list: (i know, ang aga)

1. Macbook
2. DSLR Camera
3. Diving Equip (in this order: mask, snorkel, fins, wetsuit, regulator, BCD, tank)
4. Dive trip (tubataha or kota k or apo reef or palau...keri na hehe)
5. Shopping spree at Ross/Home depot/Target
6. shoes, any kind with heels not higher than 2" (im 7 1/2)
7. my first ever havaianas (brazzziiiilllll)
8. a beanbag or a cool comfy chair
9. flat screen TV, hehe.
10. a year supply of booze (if beer, RH lang pls)
11. Art materials (any medium, from crayons and coloring books to canvass and acrylics)
12. Drumset or Kahon. (wlang pilosopo)
13. Oven. i want to bake.
14. punching bag and gloves
15. a leather basketball.


Of course, Money is always the best. that way you know i will get what i really want.

And look at it this way, if you give me any of my top 5, i can consider that as an early bday gift as well. hehe :)

Pa-Fedex nalang ah, PM me for my address hehehehe! thanks dear santa clauses!

behind the wheel

still the same ciara, just with more work and longer messier hair. ah and yes, a certified diver now, not that i have the time and money to dive anyway. maybe by november/december/january soon.

traffic jam

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on reverse

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GPS system

this is my way to stalk all you readers. mwahahahahahahaha! coolness!

credits

1 & 2