BIG deal..not..

November 07, 2005 yes, i am once again on the fat side..people, we do have mirrors at home, ive noticed that and surely more than you do since im the one whose finding it hard to fit on my semi-new clothes i bought just this summer. so get over it..

i mean what's the big friggin deal? so i gained pounds, its normal since i eat, most of the time a lot. i know that. and im not really ashamed about it...what can i do, im only human...i get hungry...i crave...i enjoy foodtrips...and i never say no to a free meal. and sadly im given that gene which makes me proportional to what i eat. THUS the weighing scale's current reading.

dont get me wrong, im not angry or anything. i even laugh whenever someone comments on how much ive gained weight. its just that, sometimes i feel like im no longer just laughing with them, its more like they're just laughing at me, and im like a crazy buffoon amusing myself with god-knows-what.

i just dont see why my weight is such a big deal to others when i couldnt care less. i mean, it doesnt make me any less of a woman. its not like my brains are miraculously transforming into fatflabs every few mins.

my only concern is that i cant run anymore. at least not like before, and that scared me. but i have resolved that gaining a few pounds is not the only culprit. i have been kinda lazy, to that i admit. and that's why i try to eat more healthy..

take note..healthy. im in no prescription diet. i still eat 3 whole meals a day with snacks in between. i just always try to add fiber to what i eat since that's what i lack. and of course, add to the gallons of water i consume everyday. and i have promised myself that i will continue kicking me ass to go to the gym until i have regained at least my 12min non stop jog minimum on the treadmill (would you believe i get tired in just 4mins..f*ck)

that actually was the trigger for me. 4mins...darn it. no wonder i get tired easily. my stamina went plummeting to the ground. in basketball, id be dead meat. me no likey.

so i run, i dance, and i try not to sleep inside the sauna..not just to get thinner..thin is not always equal to healthy/fit. i aim for the latter. and me, of all people, know that i dont have to go under 100 to say that im fit. ive been 125 and still can run nonstop (my college friends can attest to this...i can still play a whole 10mins of basketball twice then play 3 on 3 afterwards with a satisfying smile on my face)

so what's my point here...oh nothing much really. i just wish people who are getting nasty and hurtful comments about their figure somehow get to read this. YOU DONT HAVE TO BE SEXY TO BE BEAUTIFUL, DEAR...you have to accept and love yourself, that way you'll know how to take care of it, coz at the end of the day, that's all that really matters..really.

My most true mind thus maketh mine eye untrue

random dashboard

so you wont have a hard time buying gifts for me this christmas, here's my long list: (i know, ang aga)

1. Macbook
2. DSLR Camera
3. Diving Equip (in this order: mask, snorkel, fins, wetsuit, regulator, BCD, tank)
4. Dive trip (tubataha or kota k or apo reef or palau...keri na hehe)
5. Shopping spree at Ross/Home depot/Target
6. shoes, any kind with heels not higher than 2" (im 7 1/2)
7. my first ever havaianas (brazzziiiilllll)
8. a beanbag or a cool comfy chair
9. flat screen TV, hehe.
10. a year supply of booze (if beer, RH lang pls)
11. Art materials (any medium, from crayons and coloring books to canvass and acrylics)
12. Drumset or Kahon. (wlang pilosopo)
13. Oven. i want to bake.
14. punching bag and gloves
15. a leather basketball.


Of course, Money is always the best. that way you know i will get what i really want.

And look at it this way, if you give me any of my top 5, i can consider that as an early bday gift as well. hehe :)

Pa-Fedex nalang ah, PM me for my address hehehehe! thanks dear santa clauses!

behind the wheel

still the same ciara, just with more work and longer messier hair. ah and yes, a certified diver now, not that i have the time and money to dive anyway. maybe by november/december/january soon.

traffic jam

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on reverse

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GPS system

this is my way to stalk all you readers. mwahahahahahahaha! coolness!

credits

1 & 2