this too shall pass..

June 28, 2005 im so choked up right now, someone can stab me smack in the heart and i wont even notice it..id probably still be thinking of things as i take my last breath.

my problems might be small...but they come in hundreds..ok fine..in tens..and to anyone, that has got to be the worst combination of all. its so overwhelming that i find myself frequently visiting the wash room..not to wash but to cry..

you know me..the ever crybaby..but i cry most when i feel helpless..and helpless is just one of the things that i am now.

and i should be happy...that's what bugs me the most...it is after all our 17th month..i always knew that 17th would be memorable..but not like this..

i so want to just disappear right this very moment..or just hide out under his skinny arms (hehehe...nanlait paren)

but still..i want to believe that there is hope..that i can get through this somehow..i always do...as the song goes.."He wont give me what i cant take.." right??

My most true mind thus maketh mine eye untrue

Instructions for life

June 23, 2005 1. take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2. when you lose, dont lose the lesson.

3. follow the three R's:

>Respect for self
>Respect for other's and
>Responsibility for all your actions.

4.Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Dont let a little dispute injure a great relationship

7. when you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone everyday.

9. Open arms to change, but dont let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

14. share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth

16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

17. remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

My most true mind thus maketh mine eye untrue

love at first dream

June 16, 2005 you made it possible for me to love you, eventhough ive only seen you in my dreams..
and you've made me miss you just with your careless whispers to the evening wind..
to feel your touch, is something id give up everything for..
craddle me to my slumber, for tomorrow finally we'll meet.

one more day my dear bora...one more day...

My most true mind thus maketh mine eye untrue

permission to rant

June 15, 2005 there are times when i just get so pissed off with some people..they dont care if they'll hurt anyone, what matters is that their names would stay "squishy clean" as one i-dont-know-what-she-was-thinking--semi-enemy-of-mine-from-long-ago have once said. what's kickin it up a notch is that they do it to good people..those who cant even hurt a fly..or those who had been too good he/she could've died as a saint in my religion. why? i just dont get it...

why would you take advantage of people like them..sabi nga nila..why not take on someone your own size. anlakas lakas ng loob nila palibhasa alm nila the other person wont fight back..well sure..cge..you may get away with it..pero never think na you won something..you're worse than a loser..kasi a loser still fights...you, on the other hand, just made your way around the game.

pathetic.

tapos minsan pa, some people make up all these stupid reasons..just to make it appear na wala syang ginagawang mali, that all is the other person's fault..when in reality the other person had been nothing but great to them. you make up excuses, put the blame on other people..how low can one get?

wala lang..nakakagigil lang isipin how some people think..or do certain things..tapos yung sinasagasaan nila...wala silang pakealam talaga...tao pa ba kayo? nakakainis pa pag kilala mo yung taong sinasaktan..tapos ang masaklap pa..they allow those people to do that to them..even if i want to fight for them i cant..kaibigan lang ako..taga kinig lang ako..they have to learn to fight their own battles, face their own fears..im not saying that im so strong kaya ko na lahat mag-isa..i know very well that im not..i may not win every battle, pero i fight..and with each one i grew more stronger..that's the key word there..im not the strongest..but im stronger..each time

to those i-dont-even-know-what-to-call-you-people...mabilis ang karma....

My most true mind thus maketh mine eye untrue

redemption at last

June 10, 2005 as most of the people who'd been with me for a long time knows...i have issues with the catholic church..no im not a rebel. its just that, most of the teachings of the catholic church..or the things that they have been making us believe for centuries now has, after taking up philo, become questionable for me. which lead to why i refuse to be regarded as a catholic christian...christian maybe, because i do believe that there is a God/Allah/Yahweh or whatever you want to call HIM. all i know is that i believe that there is a greater good, a powers and intellect is way beyond our understanding.

but i dont go to church...well i do during christmas and simbang gabi and easter... why? because...the catholic church made going to church feel more of an obligation..pure obligation...its like you owe it to HIM..yes i know he's done a lot for us, and an hour every week would be nothing compared to that...im not about to argue with that. what i dont like is that they make it sound that if you dont go then you have lesser faith than those who go religiously. i refuse to think that the only measurement of my faith would be whether or not i go to mass every sunday. then anyone can go just for the sake of being there, and that justifies their faith.

yeah..right.

that's how i became a...i dont know how you want to label it..all know is that i believe in HIM..i go to mass because i want to and not because i HAVE to..there is a very big difference. i dont pray..i converse. i dont just praise..i sing. i may not be present every single sunday, but i dont think that makes me any less of a believer.

but just a few days ago..one priest made me see that there still is hope for the catholic church. he pointed out at his sermon that going to mass shouldnt be because someone told you or that you are obliged to, you're going there for yourself..because YOU want to. one should look at its deeper sense before one can trully appreciate or experience it, the right way. at last..after years of hearing sermons that would all sum up to "go to church every sunday or else you'll go to hell", i stumble upon a sensible one.

i hear you lord..thank you.

---

for the record..there are still some teachings of the catholic church that i dont totally agree with...but i do love HIM and whatever questions i have now, He can answer me in his own time..diba God? and it will never make me less of a believer. i may not have that much faith in the institution, but its a totally different story when we're talking about HIM.

My most true mind thus maketh mine eye untrue

k-i-s-s meee-heee-heee-heeeeeee..

Part Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

Part Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

My most true mind thus maketh mine eye untrue

espresso...2 shots ha

June 02, 2005 do you know why i love coffee so much? bukod sa masarap tlga sya..it represents me so much...my life i mean..wala lang...ang kape kasi...the moment it touches your mouth...bitter sobra (i prefer mine kasi na walang mashadong sugar na kulang nalang gawing arnibal sa taho...gusto ko matapang..or yung tlgang roasted coffeebeans na galing sa farm ng mga kamaganak ko sa alfonso..i can finish 3 cups..kung pwede lang mas amrami kaso pinapagalitan ako. hahaha!) pero yung after taste the best..sweet..di yung sweet na nectar-sweet...its a distinct sweetness na coffee lang talaga pwede makaproduce

ganyan naman e...parang pang maalaala mo kaya ang drama ng buhay mo but at the end of the day, i cant help but be thankful paren for all that..that's when everything turns sweet..even my tears.

the thing is..that's what most people miss about life...pag may nangyari masama, parang they trap themselves in that situation lang.. di naman kailangan..they say they want to move on but in reality they dont... or tatakasan nila as if ikamamatay nila. they dont linger long enough to appreciate the sweet after taste of life...ika nga sa paginom ng kape, derederecho iniinom ni hindi ineenjoy or nilalagyan ng mashadong maraming sugar or cream or whatever to try to hide that bitter taste..di nila alam that's how it was made..coffee is supposed to be bitter..life is supposed to be bitter..dahil kung hindi...how can one appreciate sweetness?

*bam*

My most true mind thus maketh mine eye untrue

random dashboard

so you wont have a hard time buying gifts for me this christmas, here's my long list: (i know, ang aga)

1. Macbook
2. DSLR Camera
3. Diving Equip (in this order: mask, snorkel, fins, wetsuit, regulator, BCD, tank)
4. Dive trip (tubataha or kota k or apo reef or palau...keri na hehe)
5. Shopping spree at Ross/Home depot/Target
6. shoes, any kind with heels not higher than 2" (im 7 1/2)
7. my first ever havaianas (brazzziiiilllll)
8. a beanbag or a cool comfy chair
9. flat screen TV, hehe.
10. a year supply of booze (if beer, RH lang pls)
11. Art materials (any medium, from crayons and coloring books to canvass and acrylics)
12. Drumset or Kahon. (wlang pilosopo)
13. Oven. i want to bake.
14. punching bag and gloves
15. a leather basketball.


Of course, Money is always the best. that way you know i will get what i really want.

And look at it this way, if you give me any of my top 5, i can consider that as an early bday gift as well. hehe :)

Pa-Fedex nalang ah, PM me for my address hehehehe! thanks dear santa clauses!

behind the wheel

still the same ciara, just with more work and longer messier hair. ah and yes, a certified diver now, not that i have the time and money to dive anyway. maybe by november/december/january soon.

traffic jam

linkages

[pblog][more pictures]

[ciox] [maan] [chA] [michellE] [russ] [marns] [rJ] [tiN] [elainE] [pontifF] [mye] [jumie] [ate sunit] [ana banana] [chi ulit] [angge]

[pajammy] [jessica zafra] [post secret] [howie severino] [ala-ism] [jim paredes] [mitch dulce] [intrigero] [scotland]

[papu] [myiE] [lara] [kayE] [maky] [raece] [caffeine_rush] [the_paradox] [weird_spag] [noside] [k_Ann] [pesteng_ahem] [sabitskipoint] [claudine] [carlo] [shai] [jassy] [rc] [mai] [bubay] [koolotitay]

on reverse

12/03 01/04 02/04 03/04 04/04 05/04 06/04 07/04 08/04 09/04 10/04 11/04 12/04 01/05 02/05 03/05 04/05 05/05 06/05 07/05 08/05 09/05 10/05 11/05 12/05 01/06 02/06 03/06 04/06 05/06 06/06 07/06 08/06 09/06 10/06 11/06 12/06 01/07 02/07 03/07 04/07 05/07 06/07 07/07 08/07 09/07 10/07 11/07 12/07 01/08 02/08 03/08 04/08 05/08 06/08 07/08 08/08 09/08 10/08 11/08 12/08 01/09 02/09 10/09 12/09 08/10  

GPS system

this is my way to stalk all you readers. mwahahahahahahaha! coolness!

credits

1 & 2