who gets to laugh last?
February 27, 2005
if you've been with me for a while, you'd know how many plans i have for my future..things i want to have, silly dreams and goals to achieve..its like, i dont only have a plan B, it goes all the way to plan Z..even more. and..it wouldnt be a secret to anyone. i am fond of telling people what i plan to do, not naman to get them to envy me..but actually to inspire them to to dream also.
but lately, people, mostly those close to me had been making fun of this. as in literally laughing..if not, pulling me down. i hear many..
"andami naman..eh baka nga matanda ka na sa mga mama mo parin ikaw nakatira"
"condo pa ha..sino magbabayad sila mama mo?"
"eh wala ka pa nga trabaho eh, andami mo na pinaplano, kumita ka muna!"
"kaya mo kaya..baka matanda ka na baon ka parin sa utang"
"ano nga ba ulit pinaggraduate-an mong course? advertising..anong trabaho mo nun?" (with the sympathetic tone, mind you)
"alam mo bang pinakamatalino dito sa amin ang papa mo! di na nag-aaral yan pero sya parin pinaka-mataas..ikaw ba nakuha mo ba sa kanya yun?"
"wala ka parin bang trabaho..eh baka naman jan ka nalang sa kwarto lagi"
i would always just smile and try to brush it off. i know they dont mean anything bad about what they say,, or with making a joke out of my dreams..its just that..for it to be happening for too many times, its starting to bug me. if they have nothing good to say, why dont they just stop putting me down and just shut up? i know most of my plans can be really unrealistic, and yes, i dont have the brian of my father, but please..theses dreams are all i have..why wont you just let me be?
sometimes i wanted to believe them..but then i opted for the better choice, i use all their criticisms and tauntings to push me to strive harder. i HAVE to prove them wrong. i HAVE to have the last laugh. if not for them, at least for me.. i refuse to submit to what they think of me--or stay the same way coz they say i couldn't do any better.
yes, maybe to them i am a disappointment.. that they very much have clearly shown me. but that doesnt make me one, so i found out. they can say what they want, think what they want.laugh their heads off if they please..but i am going to succeed--in one way or another.
the trouble with other people is, they take these things the bad way not realizing that they're just taking excess baggages. just because people tell you that you are one thing, it doesnt neccessarily mean that that's all you can ever be.
the beauty of living your life is that you can make it into any way you want it to be..not because other people say that's the way you should live it..but because you want it to be exactly like that. but most people settle for less than what they want, what they deserve.and i pity them, for not taking the challenge and facing up to life.people forget that living passionately is the only way to go.. and that's the sure way to not just have the last laugh..but also end up being happy.
take me to the beach please...
& our love goes round and round;
2/27/2005 04:43:00 AM
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just because...
February 26, 2005
its 5 o'clock in the morning..STOP! you need not call guiness or ripley's...i did not wake up early..on the contrary..i actually havent slept yet..haha! ive been like this for days now..i feel like ive turned into a vampire.
good thing im doing this thing for shu uemura..at least i have something to do while everyone is still in slumberland. and i gotta admit i get starstruck every now and then..with clients like ruffa guttierez.. aiko melendez.. cindy corleto.. darn it. and seeng how they can spend 30 to more than a hundred thousand smakeroo on make-up.. gawd i gotta envy them,, i dont even have money to leave the house for chrisake!
as most of you well know..i still dont have a job..if you dont count encoding..but what the heck..i get 3hundred/day and i get to do this at home..the only problem is..i gotta finish 3000 entries in a week.. give me a few more days and i bet i wont know how to read anymore..my fingertips are hard and friggin yucky already from too much typing..i got no voice.. and having the worst bark-slash-cough our household has ever encountered.
and yet i love being stressed..and getting paid for it. hehehehe!
^^*
i got a red-card-like-text this evening from him, which by the way made me panic like hell. apparently, he was worried why i wasnt calling or even texting him. (i did..about 2 days ago..i used my cousin's phone though..i told him i was busy and that i had no load na!!!darn it!) i called him using my sister's phone, apologized and told him that i was just really busy..this was his reply
"oonga eh..natatakot ako..busy ka nanaman..pero kahit magtext lang diba..dito ko ngayon sa beach..birthday ni jonar e..si JONAR..si jay-r?!"
all i could say was..JAY-R TALAGA!!!
what the hell is he doing at my ex's birthday party anyway?!!! now im the one being paranoid..what if he told him something..that's why all of a sudden he turned all aggressive and childish..an he do that some other time..like after i finish this encoding job..that alone is making me sick already..i dont need another thing to think about right now..honestly!!
oh--and i miss the beach...
^^*
my life for the past few days is pretty much like this post..DULL.
hay...ill just blog some other time.. we'll be leaving for cavite in 2 hours and i effing havnt slept yet..could this be considered as suicide?
take me to the beach please...
& our love goes round and round;
2/26/2005 05:01:00 AM
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the customer is always right..
February 11, 2005
im not really a big fan of the evening news..simply because it is depressing.. not that im not in touch with reality, that my life should be oh so perfect and happy..actually it is the opposite, i am aware of how irritatingly depressing life can be.. i dont need the news to point it out every other hour or come 6pm and 11pm..
tonight was different..i got a text from a friend of mine, watch Dong Puno Live..Globe and Smart vs. Sun Cellular. at first, it was more out of curiousity..i wanted to see just how smart Globe and Smart think they are to get away with all the accusations and silly arguements that they mustered to dig up to ultimately block Sun's 24/7 service. and just as i suspected..it was depressing, not to mention disgusting and blood-boiling.
i wanted to go right up the studio and spank them globe/smart reps on their behinds! they even had the guts to say in public that they care about the consumers that's why they are "concerned" whether Sun passed certain standards set in the laws made for the telecommunication industry.
BULLSHIT!! yes you heard me right Globe and Smart, i dont care if you're worth a gazillion more than my life..but BULLSHIT!!!!!
its no secret that half, if not majority of cellphone users and die-hard texters/callers are students. we dont poop money..we only have our allowance to live by, which still varies, and unlike regular income, we dont have a minimum allowance implemented by law. we can get only 50 a day if our parents wanted to.(for the purpose of this discussion, can we just erase the fact that i graduated last saturday, thus stripping me of the student brand, im still unemployed, so the same same paren..somehow.hehe!)
before, parang barya lang ang 300callcard, not because 300pesos is so easy to get but rather so easy to consume. galit na galit na nga nanay ko because a 300load would only be good for 4, at most 7 days sakin. swerte na talaga maka-isang linggo! and that one time they tried to give me a post paid plan, my bill went up to a whomping 4,000 in a month's time...which of course made my mom fall flat on the floor and hyperventilate. (gawd, lahat na ng klase ng mura narinig ko dahil sa bill na yan!!)
but eversince Jay-R danced and sang for me, things changed (come on, i have to put that in somewhere. hahahahaha!)now i can last a month with a 300 budget. all thanks to Sun's 24/7! (and jay-r of course. hahahahaha!)after a few months of enjoying the service, along with all the other people who joined the bandwagon, the big guys posed a threat..they want to shut down my jay-R..
teka nga lang!! bakit ba? the only reason i can see is this... sun is starting to become popular..nababawasan sila ng sales..of course you cant go to court with that arguement...kaya naghanap sila ng butas..kahit pilit, IPILIT NATEN YAN! aamin ba naman sila na the real reason behind all the sudden legality talks is PROFIT? Pera lang naman katapat ng mga yan eh..may nalalaman pa silang kesyo panget ang service and the consumers are being tricked...
well, sun, trick me all you want..at least nakakatext at tawag ako for a price i can afford! yun naman ang point dun eh..it came from them, its all about service and the consumers...im a consumer, and i think the service is just fine. i think it should really be up to me to use whatever suits me.
sure, pinuputol every 15mins, pero di naman ibig sabihin nun di ka na makakatawag eh, eh di tuamwag ka ulit?! if im right, they only do that to make way for the other people who are trying to connect..aba, mahirap ata iaccomodate lahat lahat sabay sabay diba..at oo, pag gabi mejo mahirap magconnect (in fairness, tumawag nalang, im not having a hard time texting na) but that's a price that i have to pay, eh narami na kami e,,and you gotta understand, nagsisimula palang ang sun, they are still to improve. biruin mo capacity lang ng network nila 2M, to date there are 1.5M subscribers..eh isipin mo nga naman pag maggugoodnight na yang mga yan sabay sabay..ABA! logical lang mejo magbusybusyhan ang network diba? buti nga walang "lag" tendencies e, natatanggap ko text msgs on time.
kaya nga if you think about it, if ever magtaas ng price ang sun, it'll be understandable naman eh..they need to improve pa eh..and improvement isnt free, excuse me lang. and if there are problems, di lang dahil trip lang nila, may rason naman e...
pero shempre papayag ba naman ang big boys na makuhaan ng pailalim ng pagkaliit liit na kutong lupang kompetisyon nila??the funny thing is, they keep denying na its not about the money nga raw..pero isipin nyo nalang, if its not..then why just now? dapat pagsalpak palang ng mukha ni jay-r sa TV nagprotesta na sila! and besides, if there is a governing law, its like common sense to say na sun needed to get this service approved before they could implement it. if there is something wrong or unlawful about it..pano sya na approve in the first place? pagpipilitan parin ba nilang "kasi every 15 mins napuputol" or "predator pricing lang yan" or "they are bound to raise their prices" EH BAKIT BA KASI NANGENGEALAM??!?!
chaka eto lang ha..wouldnt it be just fair to leave it to the consumers to choose which to use? kasi in the first place, kami naman ang nagamit, kami nagbabayad..bakit G&S? KAYO BA ANG NAGBABAYAD NG CALLCARD KO?!?! HINDI!! kayo ba ang kinakalyo kakatext? HINDI!! if you really care about the benefit of the consumers like you very much like to say you are, then hear this...consumer ako..nagbebenefit ako..oh ano inaangal nyo??? sakin nagseserbisyo ang sun (why does that sound so bad...) if there's something wrong about it..di ba dapat ako ang magreklamo, kasi ako naman ang naaapektuhan, pera ko ang nagagasta...
and if its really not about the money, or the fear that sun might take over...then why not just shut up?! if the service of sun is not good enough for you guys, that's your problem, hindi naman namin kayo pinipilit mag-sun eh..wag nyo ren ipilit na mag-globe/smart kami! aba, gahaman kayo eh..mamatay kayo sa inggit..magtatawag at magtetext ako!! walang pakealaman!!
whatever happened to "the customer is always right" ? so, ano yun? marketing ploy lang?! pwede ba...WALA NALANG PAKEALAMAN!!!!!
take me to the beach please...
& our love goes round and round;
2/11/2005 01:33:00 AM
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this must be love...Ü
February 04, 2005
"That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it" - Eleven Minutes
this is one of my favorite quotes (believe me i have plenty) from one of my favorite authors' book, Eleven Minutes. upon reading the passage, it struck me..that is exactly how it should be... that is why most people, including me, are having a hard time letting go of something or someone important..we forget that we can never own anything, or for the purpose of this blog entry, anyone..
this line got me to think about relationships. not just relationships between 2 lovers though..i mean ALL relationships. when we love someone, we always say how thankful we are for having them.. and that we would do anything so that they wont leave us, or so they wont get hurt. we treat them as if we own them, that they belong to you and you alone. but think about it..can one really own another person?
take it from me, no one can. for whatever we do, they still are the masters of their minds and hearts, they still have the last say. just as much as we want to do things our own way or follow what it is that we want, they too have that right.
that's what we call freewill..something so powerful that no one, even God, can tamper with it.
but most of the time, we try to go against it. we treat them as though they are just another of our dear possesions. we think of what they might like, what we can do, just to make sure that things would always be this way..that they will only love you. that you can have them, own them forever. then something happens. something you dont quite expect..you woke up one morning and realize that they're gone...and there's nothing you can do to bring them back.you feel so used, so betrayed..and often, you would tell yourself, "No, he cant do this to me.." well guess what? HE CAN.
But what you have to realize is...he's not doing this to hurt you, in fact, it has nothing to do with you..and that's the problem..we always blame ourselves for the things that doesnt work out. did i love too much? did i love too little? well hear me out... you did your part, and its not that its not enough for him or its too much, its just that, its not FOR him. its not that they arent thinking of what it would make you feel..or how you would react. its nothing at all against you. they are just doing what everyone, including you, is supposed to do...follow your heart. its so cliche..i know, but the reason why it has become one is because its true. everyone is entitled to make their own path...
sometimes i feel that its my obligation to do whatever it takes to keep him.. that any threat should be blocked off from the very start. its like im building a wall around him and me, he loves me..he's mine. and no one can take him away from me, if only i would play my cards right. but now i know better than that. no matter what i do, no matter how much i want him to stay, it doesnt really matter, because it would all boil down to what he wants, not mine. i can always keep him away from every girl in sight, but if he feels that he cant love me anymore, or that he loves someone else...there's really nothing much that i can do. its his decision, his heart, his life. just like i chose to love him, i have to understand that he can also choose not to love me..its that simple.
or let's see it from the other angle..like my relationship with my parents. they have my whole life planned, what i should do, who i should be, who i should love, what kind of life i should lead...they wanted me to become a doctor, i took advertising..my mom's idea of the perfect boyfriend is someone who has the looks and the money, i chose the one with the heart..im not doing this just to irritate them, or hurt them..but this is my life. sure they are the one's responsible for my creation, but they can never dictate how i am supposed to live the life that they have given to me. im just their daughter, yes..i know that for a fact...but they dont own me..only i can own me..no matter what they say or do, i am going to continue to live my life exactly the way i want it to..i will commit a lot of mistakes, i know..but it shouldnt be about how many times you fall down..its about getting up each time you do.
just think of how it would feel like to have everything that's important to you and never owning them..it might sound silly at first but you have to open your mind to it..if you take away the pressure of doing everything to keep something...of protecting something with you life just to have it..all that would be left is the love you have for that thing/person.
then you would understand that to trully love someone, you should always be ready to set them free..
that to love someone, you should first love yourself..
that to love is to cherish..
that to love is to risk..
that just because he/she doesnt love you like the way you want him/her to, doesnt mean that he/she doesn't..
that if you try not to own something, that's when you can have everything..
that love knows no reason, no distance nor time..
that when you love someone, you should accept them wholly,both for what he is and what he is not..
that when you love someone, it wont be a guarantee that they would love you back the same way..
that when you love someone, their happiness should be more important, and not getting love in return..
that when you love someone, it should never be whether it is wrong or right..but what makes you happy..
that when you love someone, you just do.. no conditions, no pressures, no pride, no expectations, just pure unsolicited love..nothing less, nothing more..
and when you do...
then maybe, just maybe... you will hurt less and love more...
^^*
there's another one that i also like from the same book. i wont blog about it anymore..ill let you think about it yourselves..i hope that like me, this would make you guys think about some things..para di lang ako ang nagiisp..damay damay tayo hehehe!
here's an excerpt.. the main character writes in a diary coz for her that's where she keeps her heart and soul alive, here's what she wrote days after she met the painter Ralf Hart:
From Maria's Diary, two days after everything had returned to normal:
Passion makes a person stop eating, sleeping, working, feeling at peace. A lot of people are frightened because, when it appears, it demolishes all the old things it finds in its path.
No one wants their life thrown into chaos. That is why a lot of people keep that threat under control, and are somehow capable of sustaining a house or a structure that is already rotten. They are the engineers of the superseded.
Other people think exactly the opposite: they surrender themselves without a second thought, hoping to find in passion the solutions to all their problems. They make the other person responsible for their happiness and blame them for possible unhappiness. They are either euphoric because something marvelous happened or depressed because something unexpected has just ruined everything.
Keeping passion at bay or surrendering blindly to it--which of these two attitudes is the least destructive?
I don't know
"di makatulog sa gabi sa kaiisip.." a classic..a BADUY one at that..but i gotta admit.. there is truth to that song..an irritating, try-to-deny-but-cant truth..
take me to the beach please...
& our love goes round and round;
2/04/2005 04:46:00 AM
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