January 03, 2005 its my birthday and ill cry if i want to..crrryyy if i want toooooo~

hehehehe!

gosh...so this is how it feels to be twenteen...how, you ask? well...pretty much...the same. hahahaha! i started thinking...did something change? have i grown an inch taller? (oh please oh please oh pleeeaaaasseeee) is my voice deeper? have i become wiser? did i earn a million bucks? have i become an angel overnight?

NAH! not quite yet..or maybe never. haha!

at least im 14pounds less than i was a month ago..phew! a little more...just some more...hehe! oh and due to bum-ness, my hair grew so long i could pass as an NPA member.;P

hmmmm..on a serious note (nax..that's new.hehe) turning 20 made me think...what the hell have i done with all those 20 years? have i, even once, in all those 7300 days

..took a risk,a real one-- an i-dont-know-what-the-hell-im-getting-myself-into risk
..made a difference, big or small.
..made another person happy, not just for-the-meantime-happy, but real-feel-good-inside-happy
..saved a life.
..made my presence known
..proved someone wrong about me
..proved myself wrong
..proved myself.period.
..made one dream come true, or at least give it a chance.

believe me,,you can think of alot of things in just a few minutes, specially if you cant sleep and you have nobody else to talk to...gawd. my insomia is getting worse everyday.

well, to answer my question...to be real honest..im not happy with what i realized. i wasted more than half of my first 20 years..take this blog for example...have i ever made a thought-provoking entry? or blogged about something--anything! other than myself.. sure, this is my blog, it should be about me, like a journal... but that shouldnt end there. this is my chance to give something of me to someone else, no matter what i do, i cant change the fact that people read this. and i owe it to them, to you guys, to at least be worth reading. not just entertaining..it wont hurt to be inspiring every once in a while, right?

i want to be like my new idol author, paolo coelho..i want to make people dream... im not sure if im up for it, if i have what it takes to be even 1/4 of who he is to me, but ill try.

i havent done much that im really proud of, but ill start..actually i had. i dont know what it is about birthdays, but i feel like i can do anything, like im indestructable or something...of course by tomorrow i dont know if i would still fell the same, but what the hell...CARPE DIEM! tomorrow can take care of itself.

so,what is it that i did? well..promise not to laugh, its may sound really stupid but its really important to me...

i emailed Oprah and the Creative Director of Giraffe, an advertising agency in UK.

*que music* dream the impossible dreeeaaaaammmmm~

i have a dream..no..i have ALOT OF DREAMS..big ones at that. and for years now, it has always stayed that way...my silly out of this world dreams...what can i do, i am a dreamer..

to have an idea, here are some...

1)produce/write/direct a movie which will get the attention of everyone
2)record an album and make an MTV (hehe..wala lang..childhood dream yan)
3)work at any of the ff
- Harpo
- Pixar
- any ad agency in NY, and study in NYC
- any ad agency in the UK
4)put up a business
5)be known on whichever path id eventually choose.
6)travel, learn different cultures, eat new and seemingly gross food, and love it

so now you know why i risked humiliation and disappointment, and went on and emailed oprah and that creative director. i dont know what will happen to these dreams.. but for now, im contented in knowing that i gave at least one of those dreams a chance..its a start...right?

and im determined to make at least one come true..maybe even all of them..by hook or by crook..i will...you'll see! and id be blogging about it. not to brag though, but to share whatever it is that i have accomplished with you, in hopes that maybe, i could make someone dream...and give that dream a chance...or better yet..make it come true.Ü

watch out world...ciaring the dreamer has been unleashed.

im bored..what's your excuse??

random dashboard

so you wont have a hard time buying gifts for me this christmas, here's my long list: (i know, ang aga)

1. Macbook
2. DSLR Camera
3. Diving Equip (in this order: mask, snorkel, fins, wetsuit, regulator, BCD, tank)
4. Dive trip (tubataha or kota k or apo reef or palau...keri na hehe)
5. Shopping spree at Ross/Home depot/Target
6. shoes, any kind with heels not higher than 2" (im 7 1/2)
7. my first ever havaianas (brazzziiiilllll)
8. a beanbag or a cool comfy chair
9. flat screen TV, hehe.
10. a year supply of booze (if beer, RH lang pls)
11. Art materials (any medium, from crayons and coloring books to canvass and acrylics)
12. Drumset or Kahon. (wlang pilosopo)
13. Oven. i want to bake.
14. punching bag and gloves
15. a leather basketball.


Of course, Money is always the best. that way you know i will get what i really want.

And look at it this way, if you give me any of my top 5, i can consider that as an early bday gift as well. hehe :)

Pa-Fedex nalang ah, PM me for my address hehehehe! thanks dear santa clauses!

behind the wheel

still the same ciara, just with more work and longer messier hair. ah and yes, a certified diver now, not that i have the time and money to dive anyway. maybe by november/december/january soon.

traffic jam

linkages

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on reverse

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GPS system

this is my way to stalk all you readers. mwahahahahahahaha! coolness!

credits

1 & 2