January 08, 2005 i watched "So Happy Together" a about a week or so ago with my two little cousins. i was actually hesitant at first knowing that Kris Aquino would be the lead actress..but then again..Jay-R was part of the cast. what's there to think about? hehe!

and...funny but a bad critic of the movie was actually the very thing that pushed me to watch it. it was supposed to be boring and corny...but then those words came from a guy who wouldnt probably get why some girls are so obsessed with Sex and the City. somple logic told me that i should watch this film and just try to overcome the fact that Kris is a big part of it. and so is chunkee corned beef.

i had fun. even in the middle of my PMS attack, i actually laughed hard on some parts. (i almost kicked the lady in front of me while standing on a line to buy popcorn...she cant make up her mind for crying out loud! i missed the first 5mins of the movie because of her gawdamnit!) the dialogue was so real, i imagine myself having the same conversation with my friends. and the situations the two get themselves in is just too funny. li-ann's "this is it" moments and osmonds badluck with guys is so kat..hahaha!

so where am i? who plays me and why? well, there is a part of the movie when i really felt like osmond...he's a forever copywriter, fling here fling there, but also has some serious ones which doesnt seem to work out at all..and if it does, he'd push the person away..he's ever trusting and forgiving nature is bordering on saintly and stupid..his wit and sarcasm, and uber-frankness was one i would never forget.

but there was one time when he confessed his greatest fear..to die without anyone to remember you, or to be forgotten totally in time.

an addition to my phobias.

his fear was infectious. i grew scared, maybe even more scared than he was..if he was real. what if that happened to me, what if i die, and no one would even remember me, or think about me when they see something, or months after im gone, no one would even remember my name. that terrified me. i dont want to die knowing i wasted my life, that i didnt even have an effect on anything or anyone for them to remember me or think about me every once in a while. am i being a wallflower for too long? is it time that i do something, to make myself stand out, to be someone worth keeping in a little part of someone else's brain, or even better, someone's heart.

i always thought i blended well in a crowd..and it was comforting..i liked that feeling...i want to be part of something but never be the one under the limelight..or the one given praise to. i dont care if no one would know that i made or i thought of that thing that wow-ed them, the fact that someone liked it was enough for me. but that always left me in the background...the far and unrecognizable blur of a background.

i think a change would do me good now...and because of that im planning to die my hair PINK..or at least have highlights of pink.

hmmmm...maybe after i get a job...i dont want to scare the interviewer...


^^*

i want a car. and a digital SLR. and an 40 GB iPod. and a palm g88 cellphone. and a vacation. and a laptop. and my own apartment/pad. and a beach house.

but im no princess..no one would give me those just because i want them.

reality check! find a job cia...as in NOW NA!


^^*

im bored...im cutting-split-ends-one-by-one-bored. im playing-harvest-moon-all-day-all-night-just-to-be-stressed-bored. im using-hyphens-and-thinking-of-more-detailed-description-of-a-word-bored.

and to think we bought 9 new vcd's for me to watch, but im to bored to even turn on the vcd player at my parent's room with the bad TV coz our dvd player doesnt work. which is why i still havent watched city of God .. anyhoo, got Dr. Zhivago, Dreams, interview with the vampire. edward scissorhands [watch this on new years eve], girl fight, blue crush [my sisters and i are obsessed with michelle rodriguez] save the last dance, centerstage [and dancing...you should watch honey and havana nights...the bomb!] ever after. still have to look for ytumama tambien and requielms of a dream.

maybe its also because i want to watch movies when i know i cant or after ive been so stressed out or when im depressed..too much time on my hand makes me feel hopeless and dead. i might just sleep through it, and you still have to switch to disk 2 after an hour, that is if im still awake..hassle! why is an original dvd so so expensive???hay!

gawd i really really REALLY NEED A JOB. >=(

im bored..what's your excuse??

random dashboard

so you wont have a hard time buying gifts for me this christmas, here's my long list: (i know, ang aga)

1. Macbook
2. DSLR Camera
3. Diving Equip (in this order: mask, snorkel, fins, wetsuit, regulator, BCD, tank)
4. Dive trip (tubataha or kota k or apo reef or palau...keri na hehe)
5. Shopping spree at Ross/Home depot/Target
6. shoes, any kind with heels not higher than 2" (im 7 1/2)
7. my first ever havaianas (brazzziiiilllll)
8. a beanbag or a cool comfy chair
9. flat screen TV, hehe.
10. a year supply of booze (if beer, RH lang pls)
11. Art materials (any medium, from crayons and coloring books to canvass and acrylics)
12. Drumset or Kahon. (wlang pilosopo)
13. Oven. i want to bake.
14. punching bag and gloves
15. a leather basketball.


Of course, Money is always the best. that way you know i will get what i really want.

And look at it this way, if you give me any of my top 5, i can consider that as an early bday gift as well. hehe :)

Pa-Fedex nalang ah, PM me for my address hehehehe! thanks dear santa clauses!

behind the wheel

still the same ciara, just with more work and longer messier hair. ah and yes, a certified diver now, not that i have the time and money to dive anyway. maybe by november/december/january soon.

traffic jam

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GPS system

this is my way to stalk all you readers. mwahahahahahahaha! coolness!

credits

1 & 2