orange is the new pink...or not. hehe!
January 31, 2005
orange makes me happy...im not quite sure why..it just does.. hehehehehehehe!
:sneak peek:
here's how a part of our room looks like(look..my bed blends in. haha!)..im still thinking of the perfect beach view that we would paint on our wall..and im going to divi on of these days to buy beads for our curtain..i wanted to buy a hammock but then i thought..where would i put it?under my bed?? hehehe!
^^*
i didnt know what i was thinking...but i signed up for this site where you are asked to try out products, most of which you can keep afterwards.. it was a free site so i thought, it wouldnt hurt..my mistake! ive been recieving numerous offers from that site..just emails..they are offering 40GB ipods, digital video cameras, and some other new products made specially for the techno geek that i am..so what am i so depressed about?
coz you have to be a US resident to be able to get one. they're all free.. shipping and handling included (so they say) its like a marketing research thing and apparently the big guys allot a big amount of money for these stuff, thus the freebies.
its frustrating...not to mention depressing..to recieve emails almost everyday of offers that would make anyone like me drool...but then again, that's all you can ever do...look..read..delete..
haaaayyyyy.... ayan na eh... ako na nilalapitan.. ngunit subalit datapwat! life is soooooooooo unfair...anlakas pa mang-asar!! hmpf!!!
^^*
at last a nearby gimik-an..south people, meet westgate. although there are still but a few restau's and cafe's open, its a very promising place. a lot of space for development, and i mean a lot! and alot of beautiful people too..to think its only new... God heard my prayers... now i have a place to go to where i can actually enjoy myself and the crowd, a night life revived, and if i play my cards right, i wont have to sneak behind my parents back anymore..i mean come on! its not far..and its really safe...bihira ang "ibang klase ng tao" dun (that's not my term..sila yan..tsk tsk tsk) so they tell me everytime i try to ask them if i can go to malate or libis or even greenbelt..my parents..i really cant get them sometimes..ganun ba sila ka-bad nung teenage years nila?? hehehehehe!
oh...MAY GO NUTS DUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNN! and pretty soon bread talk would open at ATC...yahhooooooooooo! i just love the south!! hehehehehehehehe!
^^*
i have to admit..im actually starting to get hooked, not on drugs, but on that chinovela "lovers in paris" yes, i know,,its a bit late..the series ended days ago. hahahahahaha! but my friend has all 20 vcd's and i got to watch till cd 5 last night. bady na kung baduy..pero love ko na si martin! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! good thing the series ended..soon enough, people would forget about it and switch their attention to yet another telenovela starring tintin and diet..and i can enjoy my lovers in paris minus all the talk. fads arent really for me..i easily get bored. or i wont enjoy something as much, and i wont appreciate it for whatever it is..being overrated ticks me off.
^^*
on my friendster profile, i chose Uganda for the country part..just for the heck of it...so each time someone, who knows what ganda means, open my account, theyd laugh and get the joke.
a man named David didnt.
david messaged me
he told me things about himself..his likes and stuff like that
he told me i can email him at his yahoo address, and that he'd be glad to hear from me soon
he lives in Uganda.
-case closed-
im changing it to Virgin Island..hahahahahaha! yep..i never learn. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
take me to the beach please...
& our love goes round and round;
1/31/2005 03:24:00 PM
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another first
January 26, 2005
i got my first doze of rejection..and it made me laugh. hahahahahahahahahahahaha! it came in the form of an email. i remembered who it was from the moment i saw the subject.. application for the events executive position...
yes it was a good job..i actually, genuinely would have loved to have that job. and i knew
somehow i was qualified.. so why did i laugh when i read that i wasnt asked for an interview? coz i knew i needed to be a singapore citizen or atleast a resident and could speak mandarin to qualify. NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! i dont know why on earth i still sent my resume in, but i did, and i dont regret doing so either. i might have 0.05% chance to be even considered, but what the heck...no harm done..at least i now have a jobhunting story to tell my children and grandchildren that i know we would all be laughing our heads off about..
just adding fun to jobhunting.. for my sanity's sake...
^^*
i find it funny how the nearing end of my college life (and what most people pertain to as the end of my "happy days") also meant the beggining of alot of firsts for me. some i have gone through, most im still yet to overcome..
i had a lot to give up, well somehow.. like allowance for one. you dont know how hard it is that you can leave the house as you please but you cant coz you dont have the money to pay even the tric to go out of the village. and this i never i thought id miss but i do...getting up in the morning, getting ready "fast",coz you know you're going to be late for class. (which i always end up being, since it takes me almost an hour to take a bath [minimum of 10 songs played/sang], getting dressed not included) oh and i miss having too much to do i cry. hahahahahahaha!
but thinking of the upcoming "firsts" just gives me the rush, which lately occurs only on wednesdays when i know i can watch american idol and laugh and creep myself out again. i heard a HS batchmate of mine would audition, cant wait to see her make a complete fool out of herself hahahaha! sama! lolx! what?! i dont like her that much.. and im sure the feeling is mutual..so sue me! sure she can sing..as one of the chipmunks..not nearly the next jasmine trias...PUH-LEEEZZZ! i dont sing that well either but i dont need simon cowell to tell me that for the whole friggin world to see!! damn..i want to be respected someday. hahahahahahaha!
^^*
*opens my brain's operating system*
[action:play; play-repeat:infinite;]
sana'y masabi sa awit kong ito...
lahat ng ninanais nitong puso ko..
sana saan man patungo sa buhay
may pag-ibig, may pag-asa, may saysay at saya...
sana sa bawat sandali matikaman pa sarap
ng pagsasama at simpleng ligaya...
Tara na!.,.Sakyan lang.,.
malay mo..
andyan lang..andyan lang.. ang hinahanap mo..
[/input]
[if:gets tired]
[text]help me![/text]
[action:continue-play]
[else]
[action:continue-play]
Darn it
^^*
we're repainting our room...from palest of the pale pink, we're changing it to blue-and-white walls and orange closets. oh, and we're gonna paint one of the walls ourselves.. a life-size painting of a beach (come on, you know i goota have my beach somehow) and since the door is part of that wall, we plan to put a tiny part of an island and a surfboard and some tiki idols there..to connect the painting to the orange closet of course. hehehehe! and we're makin those bead-sy curtains too to complete the effect. off with those dirty yucky pink blinds!
of course my mom didn't approve of it. her plan was to paint the whole dang room hot pink and put a wooden thingie to divide the walls into half. (just add those doilies and floral wallpaper and we're all set)
BUT her endless ramblings, and hot-pink-adoration, proved pointless..they are painting our walls blue as we speak (or write/read)..oooohhhh...i cant wait for them to finish..i will actually like to stay inside the room for a change. hehehehehe!
take me to the beach please...
& our love goes round and round;
1/26/2005 10:42:00 AM
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first "interview"
January 22, 2005
ive been going jobhunting crazy this past week..as in crazy. i applied for jobs around manila, Singapore, US and UK..and someplace else...hahahahaha! oh well, its free to send your resume right?
anyhoo, there's this online article writer job i applied for (jobstreet is surprisingly helpful) for a web marketing kind of firm...part of sending in your application is answering a 6-word question in 2000 words or less.
the question... "Describe briefly your standards of success:"
a simple question...so i thought...it took me a bit more time than i thought id take to answer that "simple" question. my first pseudo-interview. this can make or break me...it can either further intensify my fear of interviews or for once in my life, give me the BOD that i might be worth something.
so after much contemplation..this was what i sent.
success is not just about achieving something...it is about not settling for anything less than what you deserve and never limiting yourself in a situation just because everyone thinks that's all you can ever be. its about setting a goal where you know you can be happy and fulfilled, not a compromised dream. its about giving your all and more, defying limitations. success is proving someone wrong..and being exactly what and who you want to be.
i reread it about 5 more times (or more...), pointed on the submit button, closed my eyes and clicked.
that was easy..(*throb* *throb* *throb*) gaaawwwddd... pray for my soul. hahahahahaha! and what if that was real, one-on-one interview..i bet you my sorry ass id hide behind the table and tremble to death. huuuuuuuuuuuuu....
take me to the beach please...
& our love goes round and round;
1/22/2005 02:30:00 PM
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mo money mo problem...
January 21, 2005
i hate to admit it but most of the time..money does make the world go round.. sometimes, people would compromise their happiness just so they can have security and stability...like in getting jobs for example. surely everyone here had gone through that "i-want-to-be-a-*whatever*" phase in their life..specially when we were kids..when a peso was like gold, and ambitions seemed attainable.
then, we think of what we want, where we would be happy..as far as i can recall, my kid sister wanted to be a policewoman or a veterenarian, my other kid sister wanted to be a firefighter...i..cant remember what exactly it was that i wanted to be..i change my mind easily...but remember singer, dancer and a painter (which of course made my mom mad..i think soon after..she pushed me to want to become a doctor..good thing i never did took the bait.)
our reason were simple..we like what we would be doing..and in whatever way..we can help people. heroic.. innocent.. so like a child.
then we grow up.
we learn the value of money.
a peso cant fill you're stomach.
its every man for himself.
then we learn about money some more.
and the more we learn, the more we can think of ways to use it.
that money can be equated to power.
or so we were taught.
as much as i want to deny it..i cant. it is something that i take into consideration. its not just about being happy anymore..its about being practical.. so how much are you willing compromise for security and stability? is it even worth it?
i like to think of it this way.. you cant always get what you want when you want it.. but you can work for it, eventhough it would take time.. and sometimes you do have to take risks, make certain compromises..but never EVER forget about that dream, that although it took the backseat for a while, it doesnt mean that it should stay that way forever.. there is a time for everything.
like now for instance. my short term goal is to work, buy everything that i want but still save enough money..i want to make sure that i can stand on my own, that i wont have to be dependent on anybody else. sure, id be lucky if id still get what i want and what i need..but that rarely happens..and you should deal with it. this way, i can prepare myself for my long term goal...and that is to have a family.
just think about it..if i am stable enough..then i can marry whoever i love..not someone who can assure me of security and stability for life. i dont want to settle for anything less than what i think i deserve..ive heard less and less circumstances when 2 people get married because of love..real love..and not for any other reason.. call me oldfashioned, but for me that's the only way to go..marry for love and love alone...
coz if you do, you will be happy. you dont have to force yourself to learn to love someone..it comes naturally. it is what you live for. maybe by then you still dont have the job that you want..your still stuck in that suck-y excuse for a job of yours..but wouldnt it be nice though to come home to the loves of your life? and just think..you're not alone anymore. you can persue your dreams, and the best part is that you have your family behind you..and rest assured that whatever happens, no matter how silly your dream is to the world..they'd be there to support you, to inspire you to realize that silly dream.
Disclaimer:
due to interaction, beach and sunlight deprivation, the blogger could say or type things that may not be normally read or heard from her.the names of people, places, and situations are all created from the loose and badly beaten fragments of the blogger's dysfunctional, jumbled up brain, put together to come up with someting coherent enough for viewers amusement. similarities to real life are purely coincidental.Cigarettes can kill.No to animal testing.
---ok...i tried...but being too serious just isnt for me. hahahahahahahahaha!
take me to the beach please...
& our love goes round and round;
1/21/2005 03:06:00 AM
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January 19, 2005
i went to this site where you can sloganize your name...just for the heck of it... the end result:
Dont Squeeze the Ciara
ha-ha-ha! (come on..i know your laughing...) haaayyy...
ill just blog again later, ayt?
take me to the beach please...
& our love goes round and round;
1/19/2005 09:53:00 PM
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new look
although black is still my color..i opted for something brighter this time...and yes...i made everything from scratch...as in..career-in ang photoshop!! this is what happens when you have no job..which makes you peniless..which gives you no choice but to stay trapped in a four-walled-prison that is your room. good thing the PC is inside our room...hehehehe! kaya..
taraaaaannn*!!!
im still fixin some things..like the passion part...that, i promise, would soon be ready for your own amusement...Ü
gawd...would you believe that i actually reviewed html...i made the css all by myself!! ooohhh yeaaahhh! (fine, i have to research some commands...fine) but really..i didnt even make use of frontpage...yep, i used notepad..i was THAT bored!! hahahahahahahahaha! and the images, as you would notice..looks like crap...hahaha! that's because i drew them here..as in with our dysfunctional mouse and everything... man, that was a challenge..but it looks presentable naman right? looks alot like those picture i drew during kindergarden..harharhar!
anyway..im almost done...id be glad to hear any feedback from you guys (i saved the old skin just in case. hehehehe!) so...back to "work" (yes..that desperate too)
im bored..what's your excuse??
& our love goes round and round;
1/19/2005 01:38:00 AM
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January 14, 2005
can i just skip the fact that our house feels more like hell than a home...and being a major bum just isnt helping...gawdeymit!
im better off in a mental institution...i eat on time, sleep on time, i can do whatever i want to do, say whatever i want to say, shout or sing or dance and no one can judge or criticize me. no one can tell me what to do or not to do..i am a nutcase. and... i get to be the prettiest nutcase. hahahahahahahha!
if you think about it...just like what paolo coelho pointed out in Veronika Decides to Die, life inside the mental institution is pretty much the same as life outside..sometimes its even way better..
people look down on those who are inside those walls..they are crazy..but who isnt? at one point in your whole life...you cant say that you've never been crazy or at least thought about being one.
it sucks that people try to hide who and what they are..just so they can blend in...what's so wrong with being different? what so wrong about going against some of the "norms" that our society imposes on each of us. its all bull. i mean, who set those norms anyway?
i still believe that everyone should be free to express themselves...to show how crazy they can be. and not be mere puppets of the society and follow one path, one life...a life which is considered to be "right" by everyone else who's to scared to do otherwise..
of course, some may think that this might just cause chaos...if everyone just does pretty much what they want to do...see, here's the thing...its ok to do what you think is right as long as you dont impose it on someone else...i still believe in morality, and that is the key to make this work. you should be moral enough before you can handle craziness.
as i recall the things that i have read that night, i compared the mental patients and the hundred posers i encounter each day...and i cant help but ask myself...sino nga ba ang tunay na baliw??
^^*
im thinking about joining a band..eventhough kat is super against it. she says i might like it too much, i wont quit.but........i miss the nightlife...i like to sing...with some practice and tutoring, i think i can sound good enough...or i can play the guitar...ive been playing all my life, although not professionally but i know a thing or two. i know more than half of the chord shart by heart..and it'll be additional money.
i would only work during the night..that's better than sitting here doing nothing. buti sana if i get paid sitting here, di naman.
only for a few gigs..maybe just to jam for a night or two if someone needs an extra player.i dont know.
gawd im really desperate! HELP!!! i have to get out of this place or im gonna kill myself! im tired of having arguements every single waking day, (i wake up at around 2pm, and i still cant get away) and im tired of being treated like im 12!
i just turned friggin 20 and my dad still thinks that im not old enough to go out with my friends anywhere outside the south area, or be outside the house past 10 effing o 'clock...and see, they're really good at keeping me imprisoned here. my dad can think of the wierdest and most unreasonable reasons so i cant go with the blink of an eye.
its useless to resist...i am after all the most irresponsible, disrespectful, stupid, incompitent, disobedient, useless, obnoxious, stubborn, complicated child they have..why listen to me?as they've told me..im a disappointment, an embarassment, a disgrace...yeah...im all that...that's why im graduating on feb 5, and i aint got a failing grade to hold me back. that's why unlike some of my batchmates, i wasn't wise enough to get myself pregnant and be a single mother. that's why i have my whole life planned as early as now, with back up plans from B to Z in case the first one doesnt work out. so that's why...i get it.
i can never understand them they say...being protective, i can comprehend..but isnt this going a bit too far? is having a "protected life" worth not having to experience ANYTHING?
i miss the comforts and freedom of living in a dormitory. that's why i cant wait to have a job, so i can save enough money to pay for rent at whichever appartment i can afford. i just cant stand being here anymore.
i said i dont want to discuss this but i cant help it..im running out of space, this house is too crowded for all of us.
^^*
He said,
She said
im sorry..
i love you..
mahal din kita
pero di lang sapat yung puro mahal lang..diba? di lang sapat yung puro mahal lang..diba?
-silence-
Sorry..hanggang dun lang talaga ako
Dont say that..lalo lang ako nahihirapan. alam kong ako may kasalanan, hindi ikaw.
sabi mo ayaw mo na umabot dun sa point na sobrang mahal na kita...huli na eh. andun na. di mo kasi alam kung ano yung feeling, yung hirap na lagi ka nalang umiiyak na parang tanga. papasok ka, pati kasama mo sa work iiyakan mo. pag tinanong nila kung bakit, di ko masagot kasi ako man di ko maintindihan. gabi gabi ka nalang naghahanap ng makakainom, pero kahit malasing ka pag uwi mo yun paren nasa isip mo. hindi mo alam gano kahirap yung dinaanan ko after iwan mo ko ng ganun ganun nalang.
anong gusto mong gawin ko?sabihin mo lang..gagawin ko
mahalin mo lang ako..at wag mo lang ako iwan
*hug*
-silence-
Ayaw na kitang saktan
Di kita kayang saktan
yes, its cheezy...and it might just pass as a sequence for a telenovela..but to someone who caused tremendous pain to the person that they trully love...its simply heartbreaking
im bored..what's your excuse??
& our love goes round and round;
1/14/2005 01:48:00 AM
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January 08, 2005
i watched "So Happy Together" a about a week or so ago with my two little cousins. i was actually hesitant at first knowing that Kris Aquino would be the lead actress..but then again..Jay-R was part of the cast. what's there to think about? hehe!
and...funny but a bad critic of the movie was actually the very thing that pushed me to watch it. it was supposed to be boring and corny...but then those words came from a guy who wouldnt probably get why some girls are so obsessed with Sex and the City. somple logic told me that i should watch this film and just try to overcome the fact that Kris is a big part of it. and so is chunkee corned beef.
i had fun. even in the middle of my PMS attack, i actually laughed hard on some parts. (i almost kicked the lady in front of me while standing on a line to buy popcorn...she cant make up her mind for crying out loud! i missed the first 5mins of the movie because of her gawdamnit!) the dialogue was so real, i imagine myself having the same conversation with my friends. and the situations the two get themselves in is just too funny. li-ann's "this is it" moments and osmonds badluck with guys is so kat..hahaha!
so where am i? who plays me and why? well, there is a part of the movie when i really felt like osmond...he's a forever copywriter, fling here fling there, but also has some serious ones which doesnt seem to work out at all..and if it does, he'd push the person away..he's ever trusting and forgiving nature is bordering on saintly and stupid..his wit and sarcasm, and uber-frankness was one i would never forget.
but there was one time when he confessed his greatest fear..to die without anyone to remember you, or to be forgotten totally in time.
an addition to my phobias.
his fear was infectious. i grew scared, maybe even more scared than he was..if he was real. what if that happened to me, what if i die, and no one would even remember me, or think about me when they see something, or months after im gone, no one would even remember my name. that terrified me. i dont want to die knowing i wasted my life, that i didnt even have an effect on anything or anyone for them to remember me or think about me every once in a while. am i being a wallflower for too long? is it time that i do something, to make myself stand out, to be someone worth keeping in a little part of someone else's brain, or even better, someone's heart.
i always thought i blended well in a crowd..and it was comforting..i liked that feeling...i want to be part of something but never be the one under the limelight..or the one given praise to. i dont care if no one would know that i made or i thought of that thing that wow-ed them, the fact that someone liked it was enough for me. but that always left me in the background...the far and unrecognizable blur of a background.
i think a change would do me good now...and because of that im planning to die my hair PINK..or at least have highlights of pink.
hmmmm...maybe after i get a job...i dont want to scare the interviewer...
^^*
i want a car. and a digital SLR. and an 40 GB iPod. and a palm g88 cellphone. and a vacation. and a laptop. and my own apartment/pad. and a beach house.
but im no princess..no one would give me those just because i want them.
reality check! find a job cia...as in NOW NA!
^^*
im bored...im cutting-split-ends-one-by-one-bored. im playing-harvest-moon-all-day-all-night-just-to-be-stressed-bored. im using-hyphens-and-thinking-of-more-detailed-description-of-a-word-bored.
and to think we bought 9 new vcd's for me to watch, but im to bored to even turn on the vcd player at my parent's room with the bad TV coz our dvd player doesnt work. which is why i still havent watched city of God .. anyhoo, got Dr. Zhivago, Dreams, interview with the vampire. edward scissorhands [watch this on new years eve], girl fight, blue crush [my sisters and i are obsessed with michelle rodriguez] save the last dance, centerstage [and dancing...you should watch honey and havana nights...the bomb!] ever after. still have to look for ytumama tambien and requielms of a dream.
maybe its also because i want to watch movies when i know i cant or after ive been so stressed out or when im depressed..too much time on my hand makes me feel hopeless and dead. i might just sleep through it, and you still have to switch to disk 2 after an hour, that is if im still awake..hassle! why is an original dvd so so expensive???hay!
gawd i really really REALLY NEED A JOB. >=(
im bored..what's your excuse??
& our love goes round and round;
1/08/2005 01:37:00 AM
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January 04, 2005
a tribute..
i always thought that i can be carrie, i mean, sure i cant be that thin..but if i were to live in NYC, id have an apartment, a laptop, a wit that could get me in trouble, bad luck with men, clumsiness of a five year old, hang ups, 2-door bathroom, great friends and of course...a room full of shoes! oh and my own stanford of course...wont be complete without a bestgayfriend. hehe!
oh well, it has come to an end..and i promised myself that i will buy an original dvd of the last season. that much they deserve.
on the last post, i talked about my dreams..well, one of my dreams is to be a SATC crew, but of course, what's the use of putting that there..the show ended..buu-huuu!=(
well, they are going to be missed...but then again, i can always watch season 4&5, and in a few months, season 6...given that our dvd player would finally work! darn it.
^^*
just a week ago, i cant think of anything to blog about. if i do,,id be too lazy or something to post it...bad bad blogger.
but today, for some reason, i have so much to say, its like all my supposed to be posts from the previous week got jammed at the tip of my brain and is now hurrying to get out..hey there...there is still a next day you know..
anyway, just to get some of my system...hmpf! here goes...
^^*
besides obsessing over my weight..there is something else that i have lately been thinking about...
im obsessed with weddings...wedding gowns mostly... im like a kid planning her wedding day a little bit too late. WHATTHA?!
at first it wasnt really a big deal...i watched the SATC tribute and loved charlotte's wedding dress (the second one...pootek ang ganda naman tlga eh!sa wowow pa yun kaya mejo matagal na) everytime they showed a scene of that episode, id gasp and say "gawd ang cute tlga ng dress na yan...gusto ko ganyan"
then i watched my bestfriends wedding...and yes...just like charlotte's, i adored cameron's dress. fine... although that was the only time that i commented on anyones costume...but fine...
then we were chatting about movies, and i suddenly brought up "all my life" my opening line being.."eh yung all my life kabibe wedding kaya!! naku ako tlga pag kinasal dapat sa beach..tapos gabi para may stars tapos may mga torch sa aisle tapos may kabibe ren hahaha!" after blabbering i suddenly realized what i just said..did i just plan my wedding?
and then lastly..and probably the wierdest...i was channel surfing, then i chanced upon a reality show, "surprise wedding". here, the girls ask the man they love to marry them right there and then...its bad enough that i watched the gawdamn thing..but get this...i was touched, at times it was like i was one of the brides, waiting for a yes or a no...i was actually nervous! and...oh god...dont use this against me in the future...but i cried..I F*CKIN CRIED!!! what the heck is the matter with me!!! this was the first time i cried over a wedding..and i dont even have the slightest idea who's getting married!! damn it im going mad! i need a job...a diversion...anything that would keep me away from movies, dvd's and reality shows for a while...
i know i said id try to put something here that would actually make sense to you people. but hell, im going crazy here... maybe next time...
oh, and just in case i ever bring up getting married again, like for real im inviting you to my wedding chuchu...promise you'd find me and smash my head with a hammer...sure, i want to get married someday...but not until im ready...and knowing me, that'll take AGES and i mean AGES. so please...promise to free me from whatever it is that pushed me to disillusion myself that i am fit to be a full time mom and wife..think of that poor guy...and those poor kids...tsk tsk tsk...
im bored..what's your excuse??
& our love goes round and round;
1/04/2005 02:12:00 AM
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January 03, 2005
its my birthday and ill cry if i want to..crrryyy if i want toooooo~
hehehehe!
gosh...so this is how it feels to be twenteen...how, you ask? well...pretty much...the same. hahahaha! i started thinking...did something change? have i grown an inch taller? (oh please oh please oh pleeeaaaasseeee) is my voice deeper? have i become wiser? did i earn a million bucks? have i become an angel overnight?
NAH! not quite yet..or maybe never. haha!
at least im 14pounds less than i was a month ago..phew! a little more...just some more...hehe! oh and due to bum-ness, my hair grew so long i could pass as an NPA member.;P
hmmmm..on a serious note (nax..that's new.hehe) turning 20 made me think...what the hell have i done with all those 20 years? have i, even once, in all those 7300 days
..took a risk,a real one-- an i-dont-know-what-the-hell-im-getting-myself-into risk
..made a difference, big or small.
..made another person happy, not just for-the-meantime-happy, but real-feel-good-inside-happy
..saved a life.
..made my presence known
..proved someone wrong about me
..proved myself wrong
..proved myself.period.
..made one dream come true, or at least give it a chance.
believe me,,you can think of alot of things in just a few minutes, specially if you cant sleep and you have nobody else to talk to...gawd. my insomia is getting worse everyday.
well, to answer my question...to be real honest..im not happy with what i realized. i wasted more than half of my first 20 years..take this blog for example...have i ever made a thought-provoking entry? or blogged about something--anything! other than myself.. sure, this is my blog, it should be about me, like a journal... but that shouldnt end there. this is my chance to give something of me to someone else, no matter what i do, i cant change the fact that people read this. and i owe it to them, to you guys, to at least be worth reading. not just entertaining..it wont hurt to be inspiring every once in a while, right?
i want to be like my new idol author, paolo coelho..i want to make people dream... im not sure if im up for it, if i have what it takes to be even 1/4 of who he is to me, but ill try.
i havent done much that im really proud of, but ill start..actually i had. i dont know what it is about birthdays, but i feel like i can do anything, like im indestructable or something...of course by tomorrow i dont know if i would still fell the same, but what the hell...CARPE DIEM! tomorrow can take care of itself.
so,what is it that i did? well..promise not to laugh, its may sound really stupid but its really important to me...
i emailed Oprah and the Creative Director of Giraffe, an advertising agency in UK.
*que music* dream the impossible dreeeaaaaammmmm~
i have a dream..no..i have ALOT OF DREAMS..big ones at that. and for years now, it has always stayed that way...my silly out of this world dreams...what can i do, i am a dreamer..
to have an idea, here are some...
1)produce/write/direct a movie which will get the attention of everyone
2)record an album and make an MTV (hehe..wala lang..childhood dream yan)
3)work at any of the ff
- Harpo
- Pixar
- any ad agency in NY, and study in NYC
- any ad agency in the UK
4)put up a business
5)be known on whichever path id eventually choose.
6)travel, learn different cultures, eat new and seemingly gross food, and love it
so now you know why i risked humiliation and disappointment, and went on and emailed oprah and that creative director. i dont know what will happen to these dreams.. but for now, im contented in knowing that i gave at least one of those dreams a chance..its a start...right?
and im determined to make at least one come true..maybe even all of them..by hook or by crook..i will...you'll see! and id be blogging about it. not to brag though, but to share whatever it is that i have accomplished with you, in hopes that maybe, i could make someone dream...and give that dream a chance...or better yet..make it come true.Ü
watch out world...ciaring the dreamer has been unleashed.
im bored..what's your excuse??
& our love goes round and round;
1/03/2005 06:58:00 PM
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