October 19, 2004 im currently un-hitched (all together now...huwat??)

if you're gonna ask who broke up with who...lemme end it, it was i...yep...im the bad girl..again

break ups are always hard, but as tommy always say, a baby's gotta do what a baby's gotta do. not that he did something wrong, actually he did nothing, its just that...ive had enough of long distance relationships. i thought i could do it...but im just human. napapagod den ako.

if there's something i learned, its that you should never work TOO HARD just to be happy. one can only take so much, that's why sometimes, even if you still love someone, you have to end it. its bound to end naren naman...i can feel it. we're drifting farther apart with each day that passes. i dont want to push it, i might just hurt us more in the end...

and besides, he deserves a girlfriend who can be there for him as much as i deserve someone who can be here for me. its true when they say that sometimes, its not enough that you love someone. he would be happier in the end i just know it.

and..with his absence, i feel like im too gullible, that temptation is everywhere and im to weak to ignore it. the distance took its toll on me. i dont want to reach the point when we're still together and all of a sudden someone would come and sweep me off my feet without me even knowing it. two timing just isnt my style.

i believe that if we were meant to be together, in the end, it'll still be him and me, right? (fine..that's so cliche...but i cant help it, its sooo true) i just want to be sure...the last thing i want is to hurt him because i was unfaithful.

i could never be more sorry for what happened, but it has to end. the bad thing here is, he isnt mad. i wanted him to get mad at me, but he didnt. and it sucks... cause that made me feel more guilty. darn it. im so bad...another reason why i think he deserves better...yep...he deserves better than this

"my weakness caused you pain and this blog is my sorry...."

if only you can read this...

once again im single...GOODLUCK DEAR WORLD...

^^*

ooohhh...and i have a new crush..not that it was the reason why we broke sure...what happened was purely incidental. and at least i had the courtesy to end our relationships before i fall in love with someone else diba? (ok ok ok...justify it cia...konti pa)

de, honestly...i broke up with my bf for many other reasons, not because of him. with or without him, id still break up with my bf anyhoo.

i was thinking, if its not him id fall in love with, it would be someone else ren. why take the risk of reaching that point and hurt my bf (ex rather) more, right? wala lang...

gawd.im bad no? =( i never meant to hurt anyone...

i wish it was as easy as what ter said "basta ba masaya a eh..whats so wrong with that..." haaaaayyyyy....

at least i set things straight before pa..diba...DIBA?!?!?! back me up here...or not. =(

BAD ciara...VERY BAD!

im bored..what's your excuse??

random dashboard

so you wont have a hard time buying gifts for me this christmas, here's my long list: (i know, ang aga)

1. Macbook
2. DSLR Camera
3. Diving Equip (in this order: mask, snorkel, fins, wetsuit, regulator, BCD, tank)
4. Dive trip (tubataha or kota k or apo reef or palau...keri na hehe)
5. Shopping spree at Ross/Home depot/Target
6. shoes, any kind with heels not higher than 2" (im 7 1/2)
7. my first ever havaianas (brazzziiiilllll)
8. a beanbag or a cool comfy chair
9. flat screen TV, hehe.
10. a year supply of booze (if beer, RH lang pls)
11. Art materials (any medium, from crayons and coloring books to canvass and acrylics)
12. Drumset or Kahon. (wlang pilosopo)
13. Oven. i want to bake.
14. punching bag and gloves
15. a leather basketball.


Of course, Money is always the best. that way you know i will get what i really want.

And look at it this way, if you give me any of my top 5, i can consider that as an early bday gift as well. hehe :)

Pa-Fedex nalang ah, PM me for my address hehehehe! thanks dear santa clauses!

behind the wheel

still the same ciara, just with more work and longer messier hair. ah and yes, a certified diver now, not that i have the time and money to dive anyway. maybe by november/december/january soon.

traffic jam

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on reverse

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GPS system

this is my way to stalk all you readers. mwahahahahahahaha! coolness!

credits

1 & 2