August 08, 2004 beyond the petty arguements and snap backs, i just gotta love my friends. i know, i know..this past couple of blogs, ive sounded like i just hated their guts, but actually its the contrary.

i guess everyone goes through these at one point in time...but that's the beauty of friendship, you know..having to fight but not really...the imperfections of each one, the timely clashes, THAT makes the bond stronger. that's why i treat them girls like they were my true sisters, sappy, i know, but really, they're the only people i can call my family..and just like me, i know that even when i irk them or i cause them to go stark raving mad (i always wanted to use that phrase. hahaha!)they'd still love me...and yesterday proved this.

one thing to be thankful about is this...that they never EVER asked me what happened the other day, why i locked myself in our CR, what again caused the heated arguement with my parents and how it went, and why again, for the nth time, i just broke down and cried. i guess somehow, they already knew, even if i didnt tell them, and they know that it'll be hard for me to talk about it to the last detail. and that, i thank them for.

i think that's what most people overlook. when someone's got a problem, sometimes, you need not have all the answers. sometimes, just being there helps a lot.as in A LOT.

like in my case, if you see me on the verge of crying...dont ask me "are you OK?" cause honestly, do i look ok???

i also normally wouldnt talk aout what has happened right away. i mostly, well, cry...hehe! that's why when i see someone crying, id just sit beside her and comfort her, ask questions later, or better yet, dont ask at all. she'll tell you eventually is she wants to. all i would say is...iiyak mo yan, if that'll help, iiyak mo lang..

well anyhoo, that's pretty much how it went..the moment i arrived they all looked at me and told me i looked sad..and too pale, even for me. i had a flu that day, but i know they understood.

the day went on, eventually i cheered up again...its refreshing to be with them again, all 4 of us. there were alot of things im actually thankful for that day but after the not-asking-about-what-happened, our conversation over hot chocos and javanillas came next..

friend1: cia, mag-aral ka nga ng mabuti ha! yuck parang nanay!
cia: di pa ba pag-aaral tong ginagawa ko? hehe!
friend2: oonga naman..pero de cia, wala lang, para makagraduate ka na
friend1: oo, para makaalis ka na sa inyo
friend2: kung pwede nga lang, habang nag-O-OJT ka eh, wag ka na dun tumira eh, para di ka na nagkakaganyan
friend1: onga, kahit samin ka na tumira ok lang sakin. para ka naren naman anak ni mommy eh...
friend2: basta tol..konti nalang...gusto lang tlga namin makaalis ka na jan

i had to sip on my hot choco and force the tear on my eye not to fall. they understand me, without saying a word, they know. how can you not love someone who you can be your true self, and yet still love and care for you like this?? haaayy...i guess, beyond the situation iam in, knowing i have friends like them, and yes, my boyfriend who'd been there for me that night and brought back the smile on my face...i gotta say...im still lucky..i still have reasons to live.

^^*

things im thankful for...

that message you sent me when i was in my worst, you really are my happiness

that extra two hours or so you spent talking to me, i know you were really really sleepy, but you stayed up anyway, just to make sure that im alright.

that seat that you offered me when i arrived, eventhough i know you're tired yourself. after all, you were wearing your killer shoes.

that pair of sandals you gave me, the ones i like, but we all know i cant afford right now nor ask my parents to buy for me..you gave it telling me your feet hurt because of it, but i know better. thanks.

waiting for 5 mins for my garlic bread from breadtalk, and paying for it.

that Php50 less bill for fixing my dysfunctional cellphone, i had enough money to eat because of that.

that tissue you offered me.

that piece of chicken..i know you were hungry, but you still wanted to share it with me.

that last drink of water..it cost you more than it normally would, and you needed it too, so thank you

insisting me to eat something first and think about it later. it was a great meal.

hinding me from my ex...YEAH! definitely.

that cup of hot chocolate...it warmed me up inside

finally treating more than your girlfriend's friend...now we can talk like real friends, unlike before.

checking up on me the next day and the day after that, just to make sure im really ok after that night.

telling me that your so happy just because you made me smile. ÜÜÜ


to the people concerned...THANK YOU. now, i couldnt ask for more.


im bored..what's your excuse??

random dashboard

so you wont have a hard time buying gifts for me this christmas, here's my long list: (i know, ang aga)

1. Macbook
2. DSLR Camera
3. Diving Equip (in this order: mask, snorkel, fins, wetsuit, regulator, BCD, tank)
4. Dive trip (tubataha or kota k or apo reef or palau...keri na hehe)
5. Shopping spree at Ross/Home depot/Target
6. shoes, any kind with heels not higher than 2" (im 7 1/2)
7. my first ever havaianas (brazzziiiilllll)
8. a beanbag or a cool comfy chair
9. flat screen TV, hehe.
10. a year supply of booze (if beer, RH lang pls)
11. Art materials (any medium, from crayons and coloring books to canvass and acrylics)
12. Drumset or Kahon. (wlang pilosopo)
13. Oven. i want to bake.
14. punching bag and gloves
15. a leather basketball.


Of course, Money is always the best. that way you know i will get what i really want.

And look at it this way, if you give me any of my top 5, i can consider that as an early bday gift as well. hehe :)

Pa-Fedex nalang ah, PM me for my address hehehehe! thanks dear santa clauses!

behind the wheel

still the same ciara, just with more work and longer messier hair. ah and yes, a certified diver now, not that i have the time and money to dive anyway. maybe by november/december/january soon.

traffic jam

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GPS system

this is my way to stalk all you readers. mwahahahahahahaha! coolness!

credits

1 & 2