May 21, 2004 i have a bad case of the hiccups..hehehe

i feel like shit..and i cant seem to figure out WHY?!

maybe i just miss him...too much??

haaaaayyy...

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i just hate it when people settle for someone just because they think that they cant do any better..it doesnt matter if that someone treat them like trash...somehow, they can still find a reason to stay...

then when you try to point this out to them, you're become the bad guy..i dont get it..really, i dont!

how can you just throw away almost everything, all that you've worked for, not to mention years of friendship..for a guy..a guy who..i dont even want to start...

love..i dont know if its a good thing or a bad thing..i guess its really how people handle it...most, sadly, become blind...they make someone their whole life..is that even fair??what about your life before him?doesnt that count for anything?

if i ever get to that point, when im stupid enough to give up everything for a guy..when i stop persuing my dreams just because...can someone promise to whack me in the head. beat the shit out of me if you have to..i dont want to become one of those old women who just sigh and say..'sayang...'

i remember this one episode of 7th heaven (it was holy week ok?) when the character of jessica biel said no to this guy she loved when he asked her to marry him..she was afraid that getting engaged to him would end up like her past relationship, when she gave up everything..everything for nothing..she had a good life that time and she's scared coz she doesnt want to give that up..and the guy just told her...

"if i asked you to give up everything for me, then that means that i dont love you.."

that my friends should be the case...i just hope my friend realizes this soon....

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once again, like most of my 19 years of living..i feel like a prisoner...its suffocating..even if this is my life, i feel that i have no control over it...and it sucks!

they cant trust me..and i dont think they ever will..they cant even trust me to decide for myself..even the things i buy..its like i can never be right, no matter what i do. yeah sure, most of you guys feel this way too at one point in time..but..i dont know...i just feel like im being deprived of my right to live my life the way i want to..

dont you just hate it when parents make you feel that its your utang na loob to them that your able to study and stuff...uhmmm..hello..isnt that supposed to be your responsibility? we never asked you to make us, right???

my damn mouth..i just have to be so opinionated..i just have to say those things because that's what i believe in...no wonder i get myself slammed on the PC or slapped smack on the face one too many times..tsk tsk tsk..

im bored..what's your excuse??

random dashboard

so you wont have a hard time buying gifts for me this christmas, here's my long list: (i know, ang aga)

1. Macbook
2. DSLR Camera
3. Diving Equip (in this order: mask, snorkel, fins, wetsuit, regulator, BCD, tank)
4. Dive trip (tubataha or kota k or apo reef or palau...keri na hehe)
5. Shopping spree at Ross/Home depot/Target
6. shoes, any kind with heels not higher than 2" (im 7 1/2)
7. my first ever havaianas (brazzziiiilllll)
8. a beanbag or a cool comfy chair
9. flat screen TV, hehe.
10. a year supply of booze (if beer, RH lang pls)
11. Art materials (any medium, from crayons and coloring books to canvass and acrylics)
12. Drumset or Kahon. (wlang pilosopo)
13. Oven. i want to bake.
14. punching bag and gloves
15. a leather basketball.


Of course, Money is always the best. that way you know i will get what i really want.

And look at it this way, if you give me any of my top 5, i can consider that as an early bday gift as well. hehe :)

Pa-Fedex nalang ah, PM me for my address hehehehe! thanks dear santa clauses!

behind the wheel

still the same ciara, just with more work and longer messier hair. ah and yes, a certified diver now, not that i have the time and money to dive anyway. maybe by november/december/january soon.

traffic jam

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on reverse

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GPS system

this is my way to stalk all you readers. mwahahahahahahaha! coolness!

credits

1 & 2