March 25, 2004 coz every little thing he does is magic...
everything he does just turns me on...
eventhough my life before was tragic
now i know my love for him goes on..

haaaayyy...its been 13 hours 34minutes since i last saw his face..(well, if you dont count me staring at his picture in my phone..then it'd be...1,2,3secs and counting...)

would i sound too foolish if i said that i miss him sooooooo much already...haaaayyy....

my one night there was both fulfilling and frankly..frustrating.

fulfilling because...
i completed my 2 projects
..and it turned out ok..better than i expected really...
i saw him
..AND spent most of my waking time with him..well..i think..and besides, eventhough im not with him...as in up close...he's there where i could see him

and yet..still frustrating because...
although i was WITH him...all i could do was talk to him..but nothing too serious though...i joked a lot...he joked a lot..we both laughed a lot..we looked as though we were just friends..which is actually the plan..

see, only my cousins know about us..my aunts and uncles dont...and they are my mom's eyes there..so i cant really be all sweet with him, or it might a start of another grueling war with my mom. as much as possible, i want to enjoy US...and to be able to that, i should keep my mom out of the picture...coz believe me, once she finds out, her stubborn, unreasonable self would once again emerge..

so, i still have to contain myself...do you know how hard that is? im naturally..malambing...i live for that! haha! do you know how hard it is to refrain yourself of hugging someone you've missed sooooo much that is now FINALLY right beside you? its really really frustrating!!! i mean, man, he's right beside me! close enough to touch...but i dont dare...mahirap na...

sometimes i wish i could just poke everyone's eyes out...or turn invisible or something! everyone there knows everyone...one wrong move and its possible that i wont be allowed to go back there..now we dont want that to happen right?

haaaayy...when i was about to go home after class, i so wanted to ride a van to naic rather than the usual stinky bus to moonwalk...it felt more like home there..honestly. i just got more depressed just by thinking about it...

one day, i wont be hiding..one day..soon?

<--- man!! i look like shit...but it is a picture of us...hahaha! damn wind...blew my hair right on my face..just in the nick of time..good thing he's wearing the cap i gave him..bagay diba? note to self, next time, make sure im behind him...my face is fat enough as it is...dont want perspective to add a few more pounds to that..and he does have a rather small face...so..lesson learned..hahaha!

oh, he told me he'd cut his hair soon...KALBOOOOOOOOOOOO! YEY!!!! ;) everyone knows i just LOVE kalbo guys! just think, i love him even if he has f4 hair now..then i guess ill love him even more when he cuts his hair..i was silently rejoicing when he told me that..of course i dont want to demand that he shave his head for me..i know i wont shave mine just coz he said so.haha! now, it came fro him...yeah yeah yeah!!! sana when we go back to naic (hopefully this coming holy week..) he'd be kalbo already... haaaayy...then it'd be much harder for me not to hug him...or rub his head..hahahahahahaha!

------

i have a new swim suit, thanks to tin and lex, who talked me into buying it with zero effort! hahahaha! t'was cool, the style i wanted, and..although it wasnt the original suit that i was gonna buy..it PINK! and i think its better..sO...GOOD FOR ME! HAHAHAHA!

another thing to be happy about...

the top was just right, the other..well, lets just say that my bilbils were magnified! hahahaha! ill buy board short nalang...i prefer board shorts den naman e...i saw one that i really liked..sadly, it doesnt fit..its 2 sizes smaller..the size i want was..out of stock...how lucky! anyway...ill find another one...=]

and..im planning to starve myself. hahahaha! kidding...ill try to eat less...so i wont look like a pregnant woman when i wear it..although id put something else on top of it, i still dont want to look bloated..who would right??

-------

did i mention that i miss him sooooooooooo much?? =[

im bored..what's your excuse??

random dashboard

so you wont have a hard time buying gifts for me this christmas, here's my long list: (i know, ang aga)

1. Macbook
2. DSLR Camera
3. Diving Equip (in this order: mask, snorkel, fins, wetsuit, regulator, BCD, tank)
4. Dive trip (tubataha or kota k or apo reef or palau...keri na hehe)
5. Shopping spree at Ross/Home depot/Target
6. shoes, any kind with heels not higher than 2" (im 7 1/2)
7. my first ever havaianas (brazzziiiilllll)
8. a beanbag or a cool comfy chair
9. flat screen TV, hehe.
10. a year supply of booze (if beer, RH lang pls)
11. Art materials (any medium, from crayons and coloring books to canvass and acrylics)
12. Drumset or Kahon. (wlang pilosopo)
13. Oven. i want to bake.
14. punching bag and gloves
15. a leather basketball.


Of course, Money is always the best. that way you know i will get what i really want.

And look at it this way, if you give me any of my top 5, i can consider that as an early bday gift as well. hehe :)

Pa-Fedex nalang ah, PM me for my address hehehehe! thanks dear santa clauses!

behind the wheel

still the same ciara, just with more work and longer messier hair. ah and yes, a certified diver now, not that i have the time and money to dive anyway. maybe by november/december/january soon.

traffic jam

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on reverse

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GPS system

this is my way to stalk all you readers. mwahahahahahahaha! coolness!

credits

1 & 2