March 06, 2004 as ive said in my previous post..i cant be online for too long...i know ive posted a blog for today already...but i need to take this off my chest...or id die i tell yah?!

i cant eat... and knowing me..that's a bad sign! yeah..i ate something at the mall..but that was like hours ago...am i that affected? me? refuse food...now that's scary!

i still cant get over what happened..i cant help but think about what my friend told me..did i really lose more than my bf's cell..did i lose him as well? im getting paranoid already..yeah!i know i always am...but this time, its like my normal paranoid self times 1,000,000!

"..but my loneliness got the best of me and my heart's so weak...everyday i wanna pick up the phone and tell you that your everything that i need and more..if only i could find you!"

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!! poota! nice song ha! NOT HELPING!!!

I still havent heard from him..the last thing he texted me was that his phone was stolen and that he was gonna go to school already so he better return his friend's phone...and if i remember correctly..he said something like.."ok lng un" NEWS FLASH! NOOOO! ITS NOT OK!!!!!!!!! I wish it would be though...i really do..

i was planning to surprise him on his bday (next monday) now how the heck am i gonna pull this off!! die you cellphone thief! DIE!!!! DAMN YOU!

have you ever been soooo frustrated that you just want to break down and cry as if that would help...i want to..some of you might think that its stupid to cry over a loss of a cellphone..but come on...para yang wallet, if you lose yours, you cant help but feel sad, not because of the wallet nor the money inside, but more often, its because of what comes with it...like pictures..or notes or even reciepts from some place..that is precisely what's bugging me.i could care less that someone got a new cellphone..its the importance of what he took that bugs me. i know its not the end of the world...he might buy a new one..but when would that be?? or yes, he might find other ways to reach me..but what if..he gets tired of all the work..what if he gets tired of us?? paranoid alert! paranoid alert!

friggin mp3s! bury me farther down my misery will you?? leche!

my friend and i also talked about our "future"...pur plans and shit...and a question was raised..do you see yourself as a wife and mother..you know..married, kids, house...the works..

i..answered yes..and to whom..i still dont know..but i wish it was him. i know its too early..and no, im not planning to marry right after i graduate! but..i just see him as someone i could grow old with..saw his dad before..he looks a lot like him..he makes a handsome old man..and that's a good thing. hahahahahahahaha! NAH..honestly..i really think it would be nice to grow old with him. a simple life...precisely what i want. but of couse, i want to be a rich woman living a simple life. hahahaha! i could make it happen...why not diba? hehehe!

and besides..he makes me feel good..that im important..that im worth something..its hard to find a guy who wont treat you like shit..actually its hard to find a guy who's not shit period! hehehehe!

i think i better end this..before i make a whole novel about one fucking event!gonna try to eat now..the way things are going, its either i sit there and play with my fork or id eat ALOT and feel much worse afterwards..id rather play with my fork...

ciara..just think...summer..beach..pink 2-PC.,,you dont want to look like you're pregnant right??

[to fall in love is to lose control..damn right! 28^ ]

random dashboard

so you wont have a hard time buying gifts for me this christmas, here's my long list: (i know, ang aga)

1. Macbook
2. DSLR Camera
3. Diving Equip (in this order: mask, snorkel, fins, wetsuit, regulator, BCD, tank)
4. Dive trip (tubataha or kota k or apo reef or palau...keri na hehe)
5. Shopping spree at Ross/Home depot/Target
6. shoes, any kind with heels not higher than 2" (im 7 1/2)
7. my first ever havaianas (brazzziiiilllll)
8. a beanbag or a cool comfy chair
9. flat screen TV, hehe.
10. a year supply of booze (if beer, RH lang pls)
11. Art materials (any medium, from crayons and coloring books to canvass and acrylics)
12. Drumset or Kahon. (wlang pilosopo)
13. Oven. i want to bake.
14. punching bag and gloves
15. a leather basketball.


Of course, Money is always the best. that way you know i will get what i really want.

And look at it this way, if you give me any of my top 5, i can consider that as an early bday gift as well. hehe :)

Pa-Fedex nalang ah, PM me for my address hehehehe! thanks dear santa clauses!

behind the wheel

still the same ciara, just with more work and longer messier hair. ah and yes, a certified diver now, not that i have the time and money to dive anyway. maybe by november/december/january soon.

traffic jam

linkages

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on reverse

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GPS system

this is my way to stalk all you readers. mwahahahahahahaha! coolness!

credits

1 & 2