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March 28, 2004
M.Y.M.P. (make your mama proud)

cool band..i like their songs..hehehe! lalang...

------

more of vj jay-R please??? waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! i always ALWAYS scream when he's on...like im about to faint or something..EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! creepy huh? man..it's jay-r we're talking about here!!! i like his new song.."kung mahal mo sya" waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! that's the thing, he's not just all looks...he really sings well..as in! i can close my eyes and just enjoy his songs...but of course, why would you want to close your eyes..JAY-R YAAAAAAN!!!!

too bad march is about to end...can he also me april's celebrity VJ? please??? hehehehe! now i dont want march to end!! =[

'kung mahal mo sya pipilitin kong di mo makita na di ko kaya
kung mahal mo sya di mo maririnig ang mga hikbi dahil mahal kita...'

-------

went to meme's grad party last night...once again i went home looking like im 3 months pregnant.. man! anyway..drank some too..san mig lyt..yep. i had to force that in..of course its not my party, i cant choose or demend for a colt or red horse or something...i have to drink what's in the table..so i had a good 2 1/2 bottles...that all my throat could take..dinaan ko nalang sa ice. hehehe!

it was a night of laughter..which was actually expected...sa kukulit namin.

--------

i dont like vj karyl...SOOOOOOOOBRANG PACUTE!!!!

-------

about 2:00am, someone texted me...i thought it was meme thanking us for coming..guess who?? ryan! yep! he said he cant sleep, that he wanted to talk to someone..at least that's what he said..i believe otherwise. but i cant force him to tell if he doesnt want to...he will if he does...and id be listening all the same. he's drinking pa nga eh. all alone...and you tell me you dont have a problem huh?

too bad my dad saw me on the phone, it was about 3:30 then..he told me to put it down already..apparently he was going to connect..sus! so i had to end our little chat, although i really dont want to coz i know he could really use someone to talk to that night...but you know my dad...haaaay! sorry rye!=[

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it's the 28th!!! everybodY SHOUT!

'congrats cia! naka-2 months ka naaaa!!'

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!

--------

what if i try out for that 'vj for a day' hahahaha! feeling...lalang..bakit pa? mawawala na si jay-r..hmpf!! hahahahahahahaha! so feel ko tlga that they'd pick me no?
im bored..what's your excuse??

& our love goes round and round; 3/28/2004 12:47:00 PM
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March 27, 2004
i have nothing important to say...

im just bored..

didnt come to class...i went to roni's place to hang out. when i arrived at about 1pm, lane and len were there..drank 1/4 emperador mixed with coke, then after that, had a pitcher of gin mixed with juice..for our pulutan = mango, peanuts, turon...i didnt get myself drunk though..

roni told me this when i asked why Len was tipsy already:

"de tol, ibang klase ka lang talaga uminom"

im wondrin if that's still a valid statement. i feel that i lost my undrunkabilty, if there's such a word. hahaha! i got drunk during my 19th bday...and that what...2 bottles of tequila and 3 consecutive glass full tagay of red horse...that's odd....although i remember that i only felt woozy when i stood up...but really..that's still like...a lot less than what im used to before..A LOT! i can go as far as 3 gins (mixed again with juice, whichever is accessible) 2 bottles of lambanog, and some more beer in one sitting...or... about a case of red horse, half a case of san mig light, ginpom...and id still know what im doing....

im losing my gift....i gotta practice! i dont want to be the first to get drunk at the next big inuman...ok ok, kat is always the first to turn wierd..so..i dont want to be the second. i want to enjoy everyone first (no, im no maniac! its just that, most of my friends are really really funny when they're drunk..i dont want to miss that! hahaha) i want to reclaim my title...the last girl standing, still with a glass full of beer at hand! hahahahaha!

i know i dont make sense,,i told you, i have nothing important to say today...

i like pistachio..wala lang...

man, im creeping myself out!

this song, for some reason, just popped in my head, and i havent stopped humming it or singing it in my mind....

"kahit ano basta ikaw..walang problema
kahit buhay ibibigay, yan ay pangako ko sinta
dahil ayokong malayo sayo
magmukha man akong gago
dahil minamahal kita oh giliw ko...

peksman, mamatay man basta't iyong kagustuhan
hindi magdadalawang isip ika'y aking pagbibigyan
buong oras ko ilalaan lamang sayo
bulaklak para s aiyo, pisong tumpok ang bili ko
may kasama pang lobo"

that's all that i remember from that song..but i keep repeating those lines over and over again...if you dont know that song, its because some thought it was baduy..an OPM song...hey! i like OPM kaya! specially the songs from the time that eheads and rivermaya and other local bands suddenly took center stage...i dont really LOVE this song..and yeah, its corny...but there's truth to it..i dont know, maybe its just me..well anyway..i like a lot of OPM songs from way back that most people would now think as corny...eh corny ako eh! hahahahahaha!

another one of my kabits..hahaha! feeling!!! de..i have the biggest crush on this kid since the first time i saw his milo ad..and that same day, i thought he was only...what...like 14 or something..coz he really looked so young..i remember exactly what i said when i saw him..."in fairness, cute sya..kaso..naman...bata yan e!" my sister laughed..now...she has a crush on him too! even cham (the youngest..who for the longest time, i thought was a lesbo...maybe she is, i cant really tell..hahahahahaha!)

anyway, just think what my reaction was when i saw this chinito guy at aristo...and after staring at him for like forever, i suddenly froze..SI JAPOY BA YUN??? he friggin studies in lasalle! hahahahaha! i love lasalle! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

i remember what my cousin did..she's only 14 so...you can just imagine how stupid that lil girl is sometimes...i just want to be there when she remembers all the crazy things she did when she was still small..anywho...she got japoy's number from i dont know where, called him up (this is his landline im talking about..) his mom answered the phone, apparently japoy was not home...so his mom asked who was calling..and my crazy cousin shouted..or more like shreeeeeekkkeeed "si sarah po...YUNG #1 FAN NG ANAK NYOOOOOOOO!!!!"

as in no exagge ha! japoys mom was laughing daw at the other line, and my stupid cousin was too kilig to take notice...or to even realize what she have done...so blah blah blah...she called again...and again..and again...but for the next calls, she was talking to japoy already...they're textmates now...that's how i got his #...but i never had the guts to text him..pucha naman diba?! i just keep his number somewhere..its not in my phonebook..just in case...haha!

anyway..he still is cute...ang younger, although not as young as i thought he is...but still younger...he's cute..and that's just about it....

i dont go for younger guys...nothing personal...i just dont.



im bored..what's your excuse??

& our love goes round and round; 3/27/2004 12:26:00 AM
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March 25, 2004
coz every little thing he does is magic...
everything he does just turns me on...
eventhough my life before was tragic
now i know my love for him goes on..


haaaayyy...its been 13 hours 34minutes since i last saw his face..(well, if you dont count me staring at his picture in my phone..then it'd be...1,2,3secs and counting...)

would i sound too foolish if i said that i miss him sooooooo much already...haaaayyy....

my one night there was both fulfilling and frankly..frustrating.

fulfilling because...
i completed my 2 projects
..and it turned out ok..better than i expected really...
i saw him
..AND spent most of my waking time with him..well..i think..and besides, eventhough im not with him...as in up close...he's there where i could see him

and yet..still frustrating because...
although i was WITH him...all i could do was talk to him..but nothing too serious though...i joked a lot...he joked a lot..we both laughed a lot..we looked as though we were just friends..which is actually the plan..

see, only my cousins know about us..my aunts and uncles dont...and they are my mom's eyes there..so i cant really be all sweet with him, or it might a start of another grueling war with my mom. as much as possible, i want to enjoy US...and to be able to that, i should keep my mom out of the picture...coz believe me, once she finds out, her stubborn, unreasonable self would once again emerge..

so, i still have to contain myself...do you know how hard that is? im naturally..malambing...i live for that! haha! do you know how hard it is to refrain yourself of hugging someone you've missed sooooo much that is now FINALLY right beside you? its really really frustrating!!! i mean, man, he's right beside me! close enough to touch...but i dont dare...mahirap na...

sometimes i wish i could just poke everyone's eyes out...or turn invisible or something! everyone there knows everyone...one wrong move and its possible that i wont be allowed to go back there..now we dont want that to happen right?

haaaayy...when i was about to go home after class, i so wanted to ride a van to naic rather than the usual stinky bus to moonwalk...it felt more like home there..honestly. i just got more depressed just by thinking about it...

one day, i wont be hiding..one day..soon?

<--- man!! i look like shit...but it is a picture of us...hahaha! damn wind...blew my hair right on my face..just in the nick of time..good thing he's wearing the cap i gave him..bagay diba? note to self, next time, make sure im behind him...my face is fat enough as it is...dont want perspective to add a few more pounds to that..and he does have a rather small face...so..lesson learned..hahaha!

oh, he told me he'd cut his hair soon...KALBOOOOOOOOOOOO! YEY!!!! ;) everyone knows i just LOVE kalbo guys! just think, i love him even if he has f4 hair now..then i guess ill love him even more when he cuts his hair..i was silently rejoicing when he told me that..of course i dont want to demand that he shave his head for me..i know i wont shave mine just coz he said so.haha! now, it came fro him...yeah yeah yeah!!! sana when we go back to naic (hopefully this coming holy week..) he'd be kalbo already... haaaayy...then it'd be much harder for me not to hug him...or rub his head..hahahahahahaha!

------

i have a new swim suit, thanks to tin and lex, who talked me into buying it with zero effort! hahahaha! t'was cool, the style i wanted, and..although it wasnt the original suit that i was gonna buy..it PINK! and i think its better..sO...GOOD FOR ME! HAHAHAHA!

another thing to be happy about...

the top was just right, the other..well, lets just say that my bilbils were magnified! hahahaha! ill buy board short nalang...i prefer board shorts den naman e...i saw one that i really liked..sadly, it doesnt fit..its 2 sizes smaller..the size i want was..out of stock...how lucky! anyway...ill find another one...=]

and..im planning to starve myself. hahahaha! kidding...ill try to eat less...so i wont look like a pregnant woman when i wear it..although id put something else on top of it, i still dont want to look bloated..who would right??

-------

did i mention that i miss him sooooooooooo much?? =[

im bored..what's your excuse??

& our love goes round and round; 3/25/2004 12:43:00 AM
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March 23, 2004
who's going to cavite later?

ciara's going to cavite later!

oh yeaaaaahhh~ oh yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah~


-----

man! im too excited! i dont think id sleep tonight..hahahaha! i just hope i could be alone with him..even for just a sec...then all the wait would be worthwhile...haaaayyy..

talk about mushy... hahahahaha!

-----

kat's pissed again with some girl who she says has a crush on her crush..i mean, yeah..id be a little ticked off if i saw another girl trying to make pa-cute around my crush but take note that the key word there is little ...let's just say kat went a bit overboard. and it amuses me...bad as it may sound, i find pleasure in pissing her off even more. hahahahaha! see the thing is, he's not her bf...so why react that way?

yes..the girl's a bit..unpleasant to the eye..but hey, the guy IS cute...handsome even...so i guess it is but natural for another girl to like him too, right?

see that's why i dont want to have a gorgeous boyfriend..its such a pain in the ass...its a given that a lot of girls would literally drool over him(gays even..), and of course there's that non-stop side comments thrown at you...why go through all that??? and the only thing that you'd get from your bf is "its not my problem that they like me.." that's just..torture!

anyway back to kat..so now she's ranting non stop...all i could do was laugh...(well at least she cant hear me...im just,..typing it..hahahahaha!) naaah..of course i try to talk sense first...why the heck would she let that affect her that much...kat talaga..pagdating sa lalake...di ko maintindihan minsan...

-------

one day ill post my crewrit works here..not that its worth reading..i just..want to..hahahahahahahaha! one day..

------

oh...i can go swimming later pala! yey! i just have to take 72 pix for my adraphy class and im free to do whatever i want! im going to the beach, which is a good 5 min walk from our house in cavite...salty water...fine grains of sand....YEy!!! summer has come... (if the pix ill take would turn out good, id post it here..promise...)

im bored..what's your excuse??

& our love goes round and round; 3/23/2004 12:24:00 AM
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March 20, 2004
clumsy clumsy ciara...

i know..i admit im a total klutz! there's no denying it people...clumsy clumsy ciara...

just this morning, to add to my many 'accidents', i was going to brush my teeth..as i was reaching for my toothbrush...my mom's toothbrush fell..not that bad right? well get this..it went swak into the toilet bowl. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! good thing i just flushed..but..man..i had to find a plastic to wrap my hand with to get it and throw it away...im not going to dip my hand in the toilet..man that's just nasty!! but me and my sister had a good laugh about it this morning.. what a way to start the day...

o0o0o0o

i was amused when i read a text message from my boyfriend...the message goes:

"by alm mo mhal n mhal kta.. wg mo ako iiwan ha!by"(by [short for baby..cheeeeezzzeeeeyyy..but works for me! haha] i love you so much..dont leave me, alright?)

i dont know where he got the idea that im going to leave him..not that im planning to..IM NOT! now who's getting paranoid?? hahaha! finally! someone as paranoid as me...

i remembered at that moment what mye told me when she was suggesting gifts for his birthday..

"cia..paabutin mo naman ng anniversarry, ha? wish ko lang.." or something like that

i laughed at the way she said it..why??am i not capable of having a long time boyfriend..ive had...one! which lasted more than a year! hahahahaha! anyway...i too am hoping this one lasts...let's just hope this time, he does too...

but anyway it was sweet..for a guy to say that..i mean...you dont hear that everyday..the thing is..that message came out of the blue..which made it more...interesting (im not sure what adjective to use..anyway..close enough) its like...spontaneous...which made it sound more..sincere..anyway..im sure to have a good night's sleep tonight..(why do i have a feeling that i was redundant...hell, i dont care!)

so...im gonna start that sleep..right about...now?? babu!

im bored..what's your excuse??

& our love goes round and round; 3/20/2004 12:57:00 AM
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March 19, 2004
im ready..im ready..IIIMMM REEEAAADYYY...

if i could only be as enthusiastic as spongebob on everything that i do, then maybe things wont be like this...but hell, what can i do..im no square dude!

i want a spongebob boxers..where can i buy those? i really really like to have one..so far i only have plain colored one's, a marvin and a donald..i also have a checkered one..i want a spongebob boxer shorts?!?!?

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G SONG! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G SONG!
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHH!!

o0o0o0o

i was talking to tin this afternoon when i blurted.."i dont think i have a real phobia" i mean, im not afraid of heights..most are, nor bugs, not even ghosts..i do get freaked out sometimes...but that to be considered as a phobia is an exaggeration..its just like how icky i think blood is.

i thought about it a lot till tonight.. and ladies and gentlemen.here's the result...

im afraid of...
1. rejection
2. failure
3. getting left behind
4. vomitting (yep..i really am...)

well..that was all i could think of..maybe i have more..i just know i do..im a sissy! hahahaha! but right now, that's all i could think of. anyone knows what those phobias are called??=]

im bored..what's your excuse??

& our love goes round and round; 3/19/2004 12:36:00 AM
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March 17, 2004
just when i got everything figured out...just when im soooo excited...fate just gotta bite my ass...

yeah yeah..i still dont know what gift to give him..but that's really nothing..i can go there empty handed..all i really wanted was to see him..that's all...tell me, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!?!

a while ago, sir dennis posponed our "presentation" for admedia, which at first was ok, since its only wednesday..we can present on friday..the plan is still intact, right? go and meet him on his bday, which is this comiong monday..

but hell no! whoever said that you dont always get what you want should be burned on the stakes!

turns out, we have a guest speaker coming this friday...so the presentation was then again moved to..yeah..you guessed right..MONDAY!! and of course, it is such a BIG DEAL so i really have to go to class.. WHYYYY?!?!

fine, i cant hold this against anyone, even our payoyo clown look-alike prof. edwin's bday is no holiday, sir doesnt know..and even if he did, SO WHAT?! yeah..so what to him...but what about me?? =[

now allow me to repeat myself...all i want is to be with him on his bday..IS THAT JUST TOO MUCH TO ASK?!?!?!?!

i feel disoriented...i lost my organizer (the one marns gave me..my only salvation from returning to my ever forgetful and unorganized self)

i also need 1000 by friday, kat's future is on my hands. see i owe her money, which she told me, i could pay little by little...and then suddenly, she needs it..in 2 days, coz if i dont produce it, she cant take her final exams on monday. she's exactly 1000 short for her last installment.. what, do i poop hundred peso bills??

well, yeah, its my obligation, im the one who owes money, right? im not mad at her for demanding money, i mean, she should might also be under pressure now..its just that..ive got a lot of things in mind lately, and this?? NOT HELPING!!

add my low grades this term..i dont know what has gotten into me..its like my brain just short circuited or something! this term isnt that hard...ive had a lot of harder subjects before, and study or not, i do just fine..but now..study or study..i suck! infos go in and out of my head just like that..i sometimes call it "dory syndrome" which was funny at first.. but now that i feel the effects of it, its killing me! is this the effects of info overload? do i need to reboot??

i know some might say that its enough that i pass..well in this household...its not! give me a 2.0 and my mom wont stop blabbering..the thing is...i have the whole summer to hear her saying over and over and over

"grades define you..how do you expect to land on a good job with grades like this??? how can i help you if i cant show something good about you? employers only look at grades..that's all there is. i have friends blah blah blah, but how can i recommend you to them with these grades???"

they make it sound that i have DISAPPOINTMENT tattooed on my forehead...well my dad told me i was..imagine how unworthy that must've felt like. i cried till i cant breath anymore. your own dad..calling you a disappointment...

here i go again...i shouldn't really talk about this here..but its just too suffocating at times, i just want to shout..in this case...type my fingers off...

--just spoke to kat on the phone...guess who she said wanted to have a fling with her..james yap..yep. THE JAMES YAP! as in the basketball player from UE..lucky bitch! hahaha! hey..i dont hate her..i repeat I DONT HATE HER! its just that...she's having so much fun, her life's near perfection while mine is..well..shit. lucky..oh so lucky!but i am happy for her..really..i like paul artadi better kasi! hahahahaha! if it were him, damn id be throwing a fit right now!

haaaaay* there's only one person in this world who can make everything alright..and he...still havent texted me! dont go "why dont you text him" on me..let me remind you..its not his cellphone..what if his sister's using it..hmmmmm...let me rewind that..not for you..but for me.. its not his cellphone.. ok that settles it.

let me end with what william hung said at american idol a while ago (yes..the one and only She Bangs guy!)

"i struggle with everything that i do in my life..But what you got to understand is that...Everyone sturggles for them to succeed"

that guy is just too C-U-T-E!!!

news flash! 11:02pm he texted..hahahahaha!

im bored..what's your excuse??

& our love goes round and round; 3/17/2004 10:50:00 PM
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March 14, 2004
i just remembered..i made a quiz right..my sister answered it..there's a question there:

my obsession would have to be...??

a. chocolates!!
b. moreno!!
c. kalbo!!
d. myself!!

and my sisters (yeah, they both agreed on this), who i thought should know me best since ive lived with them since they were born...answered... D hahaha! sheeesh! am i THAT vain???

im bored..what's your excuse??

& our love goes round and round; 3/14/2004 01:17:00 AM
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March 13, 2004
got a new phone...3650..figured id get more when i sell this since it depreciates slower than my previous phone. close na kami nung nagbebenta sa town eh..as in...they even offered me peanuts when they bought one, ironically, may naglalako ng mane sa loob ng town..haha! wierd..but smart..i mean, he's the first right? he's got the whole mall as his potential buyers...id buy one from him if he happens to come by our tambayan..yung open na part ng town..just beside cinderella...no point trying to be cono...town is pretty much my second home..so...feel at home tlga..with the nuts and everything! hahaha!

of course, new phone means...new pix...and with a memory as big as this i could store as many as i want..so far i have 8 pix of me..not including the ones ive just deleted...wala lang..hehe! i like this phone! but i like 6600 better!! haha! one day..cia..one day!!! makukuha mo ren yan!!!

o0o0o0o

yula once again caught me off guard...she's planning to come with me on my bf's bday..its no secret that she's sooooo interested in him, i mean, when we were still not together, i think i have another bf then, she kept asking me edwin's #, kanya na lang daw..of course..AYAW KO!SELFISH NA KUNG SELFISH!

and yeah, now she wants to come with me. all of a sudden she can absent herself from the class which just some days ago we cant make her skip...i pleaded for kat to come with us, if not to stop yula, then stop me from killing her and dumping her into the ocean! i know, i know, im not sure if she'd go for him and be all pa-cute again, like she usually does when she's around anything with a penis attached to it..she has issues..it doesnt matter if he's your boyfriend, or if youve made it clear beforehand that you really REALLY like him, she'd go after him anyway...and i cant do anything about it!! i want to slap her sometimes..just to wake her up...but i dont want to be a real bitch.. but this time, i think i would be if she tries anything...that's why..i need kat! hehehe!

o0o0o0o

im looking forward to taking my very first set of pictures using a manual camera..hehe!before, i thought about being a photographer..but as Mang Ed said...its just too expensive..yeah..maybe when im rich, so rich id have to use a rake to clean my floor from all the bills..hahahaha!

o0o0o0o

i love Sex & the City! hehe! watching the episode when brady's going to be baptized..you know, carrie thinking of people to dedicate her book to...its just too sweet...(i missed the first part...but i typed in warp speed to get the important part..hehe):

to my good friend Charlotte
the eternal optimist who always believes in Love..


haaaii....too bad this'll be the last season, and its a shame, there were only a few episodes.. :( i bought season 5 DVD...im planning to collect the whole lot..anybody knows where i can buy season 1,2&3 of SATC...and buy em cheap too. hehe!

hey..look! ain't Aidan cuuuuutteeee??? ->
haaaaaiiii...loved him in serendipity, loved him in my big fat greek wedding..and i most specially loved him as Aidan in SATC...hay* the perfect boyfriend..=] who could ever forget his line...

"you broke my heart..."

and with that...he broke my heart too...almost made me feel sorry for the times when i was...well..not that nice..hahahaha!

cant wait to go to New York, 3 of my friends and i are planning to migrate there..to make big bucks..live the "american dream" if there is such a thing. (well, its better than being stuck here..especially if FPJ becomes the next president.) hey, maybe we'd continue sex and city then! hahahaha!

im bored..what's your excuse??

& our love goes round and round; 3/13/2004 11:22:00 PM
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March 11, 2004
i read tin's recent post...let this be a longer reaction to that post...

there, she was talking about someone...although i still cant be certain, but i have this wierdest feeling that i know who she's talking about...coz i for one also noticed the change...

yeah, everyone knows she's nice...i think she is too..but there are times when i feel that i dont know her, that im with a stranger...at first i didnt really mind, i thought that maybe, she just had an off day, i have lots too...but then it seems like its becoming a routine...has she changed, or is that really the real her that she never showed until now. its scary...

dont get me wrong, i am willing to accept her, she is my friend..friends accept friends COMPLETELY...the problem is i dont know which of the two i should accept..or should i accept both?

i started to notice the "change" when we went up to baguio for the Ad Congress..thought..must be because of the air there..since its cold and everything..hehe! Nah, im just joking...but really..i thought it was just her way to fit in the "corporate scene" unlike me, who just dont care..hehehe! but it continued..until now...i thought i was the only one who noticed this..but if my guess is right, tin did too..

i ain't mad at her or anything..neither do i dislike her because of that. im just plain confused. hehe! its something new..something that im not quite used to...

o0o0o0o

Myx had the best idea EVER! they made Jay-R Silona their celebrity VJ..can he be a permanent VJ..i know he hasn't perfected his craft yet (he talks in a certain tone...as in..may melody of some sort, but hten again, he is a singer..hehehe! and he looks like he's a bit uncomfortable..but DAMN! that never changed the fact that he's so soooo F-I-N-E!!) but he can learn..and i promise that i wont grow tired of googling in front of the TV all day watching him..hehehe! Go Jay-R! shake your ass! hahahaha! (hey, he can dance really well..and his voice..oh his voice!)

to that girl who he goes all the way to ATC for (he lives somewhere in greenhills..hmmmm)..ANG SWERTE MOOOOOOO!!! HAAAAIIIII* wish ko lang ako yun eh no..dream on cia..dream on.. hahaha! tsk tsk tsk! but i do applaud that girl...if i were her, shit, lagi ako nahohospitalize. tipong malayo pa lang..cant move...pag nsa harap mo na..*BLAG* HEART ATTACK!!! hahaha!

o0o0o0o

his sister got a new phone..YEY!! although its not really his, but he said its as good as his anyway because his sister only uses it to call, he..well..consumes the text part. =] i think his sister's husband works abroad..so she really has to buy a new phone...damn, i know i would! just think,,,akin, bus ride lang ang layo, napapraning na ko..what more if it were like theirs na you have to ride a plane na..

kaya ako..if my plans of going abroad pushes through...id make sure he'd go with me, or at least follow shortly after..coz damn...i cant take that! im more visual, did the pen test and everything. hehe!

o0o0o0o

haven't you noticed that im going back to my old laid back, lokaloka self again? YEY! the nights of depression's over..at least for now...i just hope it would be for good this time..its hard if you're insomiac and then depression kicks in...really..bad combi...bad BAD combi.

o0o0o0o

i dont like ponds facial wash...by mid day, my face would be all sticky and oily. this sucks! i wanted to buy the one with scrubs, and of course, basta white and green i bought it agad, i didnt even bother to read...facial wash lang pala. Php60 down the drain.. shouldve bought facial cool nalang..30 pesos lang! effective pa..tsk tsk tsk! ciara...MAGBASA KA KASI KAHIT MINSAN!! HEHEHEHE!

im bored..what's your excuse??

& our love goes round and round; 3/11/2004 10:20:00 PM
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i created a quiz for me to find out if you guys really know me..well, if you dont have anything to do, its just about 10 questions..feel free to waste your time answering this.

Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

maka-0 may kutos!!! hehehehe!

o0o0o0o

his friend otep told him that im planning to go there..im not sure if he told him everything (as in that it was supposed to be a surprise..na ngayon hindi na...) now i feel obliged to go there..dont get me wrong..i want to..but im not yet sure if i can...i dont want to disappoint him on his bday! kaya when he asked me if it was true na i have plans to go there...i changed the topic (oh yeah..he texted me this am..yey! nagpapanic pa nga ko..with 3 miss calls pa...late kasi reply ko. hehehe! anyway..at least i know gusto nya ko makausap diba??) anyway..yun nga..im not sure how id pull it off..but i hope i can..i really REALLY want to be with him on his bday..kahit saglit lng..kahit bati lang tapos alis na (xempre...papayag ba kong un lang?hahaha!) but u get the drift right? wala lang..i miss him so baaaaadddd! =[

o0o0o0o

i feel like im wasting my time by going to school..yeah i know, almost everyone feels that..its just that, specially during mondays and fridays, i only have one class..one friggin admedia class! i spend more time on the bus (remember my bus experiences...haaaaiii* naman!!) which is about 3 hours, than in school (1 hour)

sometimes, like this afternoon, its not even for an hour..we had a quiz so sir dennis let us leave right after we finished our quiz..it took me about 30 mins tops...i was actually through 15mins, but i wasnt sure if i used the right formulas or did i formulate my own again. hehehe! so i was waiting for some cheats..or some sign that i should stop already...and come 30mins...my pen ran out of ink...

ITS A SIGN!

a sign that i should stop pretending i know what im doing and just pass the stupid paper. hahahaha!

o0o0o0o

i was online last night, but i only used IRC coz my friend roni want to chat, so we did...i was talking to this guy jAps (nice name...japs sergio..the more that i wanted to talk to him..so feeling ko..si japs sergio tlga yun? hahaha! if you dont know him, he's the current bassist of rivermaya...my other kabit..hahahahaha!) we exchanged email ads so that i could add him on friendster...but i havent logged in that time nga, so i told him to just add me...then he asked where i grad. HS, i told him bene, he said he grad bene too, he asked what batch i was, i said 2001, then he said batchmate ko daw bro nya, henzel tabladillo..i froze. *CHEDEEEENNG* could he really be the older tabladillo of batch 99...ang crush kong tabladillo?!?!?! i didnt know his name then, basta i saw his name strip lang..tabladillo...waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! i quikly opened my friendster acct...FRIENDSTER KO NA SYA NGAYOOOON! i love friendster!!! hahahahahahaha! i even wrote down his email..i dont know why..i just did..hahahahaha! wierd...sometimes i scare myself. hahahaha!

o0o0o0o

met a new friend, name's niel...grace introduced him to kat, and we meet up with him yesterday..he's cute..and he's fun den naman...yeah...if he wasn't kat's "career" and i didnt have a bf, id probably go for him...great eyes by the way..gusto ko na nga tanungin kung nagcucurlash sya e..kasi swear!!! astiig! i mean for a guy ha...and...ganda nga mata..i cant look at him straight nga eh...pero nung una lng ... by the end of the day, kagaguhan ko na..wala.. friend..a crushable friend that i cant have a crush on. hehehehe!

one man woman na po ako ngayon... *bow* =]

im bored..what's your excuse??

& our love goes round and round; 3/11/2004 01:41:00 AM
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March 08, 2004
NAGTEXT NA SYAAAAA! first was this morning (yep..not only once!) he used his classmate's fone..i still had no load that time so i wasnt able to reply..hours later, i texted his classmate, asking if he/she was still with him..as i was sending my msg, my phone beeped..then when i read it, it was him, he used otep's phone now (his classmate who became my "friendster") we texted for a while, he said nga na he cant text me often na coz he cant find a phone that he could borrow..said it was ok..ano naman magagawa ko no?! then he had to go, so bye. i wasnt expecting anything anymore since noone at their house has a phone now (his phone wasnt the only one taken, also her sister's...) but about 5:30, i recieved another message..his sister borrowed a phone from someone so she could call someone. maybe her husband,,i think he's working abroad...

anyway..the bottomline is...NAGTEXT SYA! hehehe! and being the mababaw that i am...tuwang tuwa na ko dun diba.. hehe!

he said something a while ago, and i cant help but smile (its not appealing to see someone smiling alone in a dark van..that's just too creepy...so i was really trying not to smile) its really simple but..F na F ko! hahahahahahaha! lalang...haaaiii* now i miss him...but im still hyper.. hahaha!

i was offering him a phone, no im not gonna buy a new phone for him! if i had the money maybe i would..i only offered to let him borrow a phone from me for a while. im really planning to buy an extra phone, for my smart number..if not, id still have one coz come cha's graduation, she'll have a new phone, so her phone would be passed on to cham, cham's to mama..and no one would be using mama's phone...but he said it was ok..his sister's gonna buy a phone daw..he's just not sure when...well..soon, i hope...

i miss him so much.. its killing me =(

o0o0o0o

i saw Robin Padilla at g4! hahaha! i wanted to take a picture with him but i was just too shy...or starstruck. hahahaha! i have the biggest crush on him..promise! gwapo kaya sya! i just stared at him and the many people crowding around him to take a picture or a authograph...literally not moving. ahahahaha! it took about a min or two for it to process in my head that i need to walk sometime..even when i did, my eyes stayed glued. i was tempted to reach for my phone...i dont know what was stopping me..but i just ended up walking away...with a tight chest..like i was having an asthma attack. hahahahaha!

STARSTRUCK TLGA! hahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

im bored..what's your excuse??

& our love goes round and round; 3/08/2004 11:16:00 PM
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Meantime Girl...

What’s a Meantime Girl?

She’s the one you call when you’re bored because she makes you laugh. She’s the one you talk to when you’re feeling down because she’s willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She’s not the one you call when you need a date to your company’s Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She’s the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find “The One”. You know, the one who you keep around in the meantime.

She’s not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don’t look at her as a “real” woman, either. She’s not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. She’s too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She’s too understanding, too comfortable—she doesn’t make you feel nervous or excited the way a “real” woman does. But she’s cool, and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you’re lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she’ll do just fine. You don’t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don’t have any façades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You’re not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She’s not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she’ll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don’t have to explain yourself or the situation, that she’ll be able to cope with the fact that this isn’t the beginning of a relationship or that there’s any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her. It won’t bother her that you’ll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you’ve been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She’ll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She’s just so cool…why can’t all women be like that?!

But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don’t because to you, the situation between the two of you isn’t important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it’s really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don’t think she’s good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it’s mostly her fault, because she doesn’t have to give in to your needs—she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn’t pull it off. Maybe she’s too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on her forehead, or works at Taco Bell. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman.

You’ll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, and she’ll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux.

She doesn’t captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She’s safe. She doesn’t want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone’s head. She wants to be special to someone, too. We all do.

She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you’ve ever known because she’s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you’ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.

Anyway, yeah. I’m a Meantime Girl. Been one more times than I care to admit. I don’t know the reason, really, and at this point I don’t even care. I just want to let every guy know who’s ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry, too. A lot. And someday we won’t be around.

---

you might be asking...am i a meantime girl? yeah..once..i was..i actually was...but things change. you know.

how about you? are you a meantime girl??
im bored..what's your excuse??

& our love goes round and round; 3/08/2004 03:02:00 AM
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March 07, 2004
yep..the song says it all..although i think that's the original version..i like the serendipity version better..haaayy* i cant take the distance... :(

kat got her wish..well i at least i think she did...i was texting this guy who i thought was a close friend of my boyfriend, turns out, he's a "closer" friend of my ex. see, kat had been concocting schemes on how to let my ex know who my new bf is..although i really dont care if he'd find out or not..but you know kat...all about revenge..and having the last laugh and shit. anywho...now someone from his circle of friends knows about me and my current bf...and knowing the people there, and how fast news travels(you wont believe how fast..as in...) its really not impossible that he'd find out about it..they might even be talking about it as we speak..well anyway..whatever...

o0o0o0o

still waiting for his text..so far...NADA..haaaayyy.... actually that was how i got to text letlet, their common friend...i was expecting it to be his barkada.. but turns out...he's not. haaaaaiiii..is he even thinking about me the way im thinking about him?! damn! i hate this.... please please please..paramdam ka naman!!

o0o0o0o

i slept almost the whole day..i have nothing to do anyway...and the more i stay awake, the more i think about him..its sickening really...i hate feeling like this,,ive never been more excited to go to school tomorrow..shit...this is baaadd..hehehehe!

im bored..what's your excuse??

& our love goes round and round; 3/07/2004 10:58:00 PM
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let's start the day with a quote by someone answering to the name"Ano Nimus"

"ang taong nagbubuhat ng sarili nyang bangko`..ay naka-wheelchair"

*bow*

hahahahahahahahahaha! peace!

im bored..what's your excuse??

& our love goes round and round; 3/07/2004 04:23:00 AM
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March 06, 2004
as ive said in my previous post..i cant be online for too long...i know ive posted a blog for today already...but i need to take this off my chest...or id die i tell yah?!

i cant eat... and knowing me..that's a bad sign! yeah..i ate something at the mall..but that was like hours ago...am i that affected? me? refuse food...now that's scary!

i still cant get over what happened..i cant help but think about what my friend told me..did i really lose more than my bf's cell..did i lose him as well? im getting paranoid already..yeah!i know i always am...but this time, its like my normal paranoid self times 1,000,000!

"..but my loneliness got the best of me and my heart's so weak...everyday i wanna pick up the phone and tell you that your everything that i need and more..if only i could find you!"

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!! poota! nice song ha! NOT HELPING!!!

I still havent heard from him..the last thing he texted me was that his phone was stolen and that he was gonna go to school already so he better return his friend's phone...and if i remember correctly..he said something like.."ok lng un" NEWS FLASH! NOOOO! ITS NOT OK!!!!!!!!! I wish it would be though...i really do..

i was planning to surprise him on his bday (next monday) now how the heck am i gonna pull this off!! die you cellphone thief! DIE!!!! DAMN YOU!

have you ever been soooo frustrated that you just want to break down and cry as if that would help...i want to..some of you might think that its stupid to cry over a loss of a cellphone..but come on...para yang wallet, if you lose yours, you cant help but feel sad, not because of the wallet nor the money inside, but more often, its because of what comes with it...like pictures..or notes or even reciepts from some place..that is precisely what's bugging me.i could care less that someone got a new cellphone..its the importance of what he took that bugs me. i know its not the end of the world...he might buy a new one..but when would that be?? or yes, he might find other ways to reach me..but what if..he gets tired of all the work..what if he gets tired of us?? paranoid alert! paranoid alert!

friggin mp3s! bury me farther down my misery will you?? leche!

my friend and i also talked about our "future"...pur plans and shit...and a question was raised..do you see yourself as a wife and mother..you know..married, kids, house...the works..

i..answered yes..and to whom..i still dont know..but i wish it was him. i know its too early..and no, im not planning to marry right after i graduate! but..i just see him as someone i could grow old with..saw his dad before..he looks a lot like him..he makes a handsome old man..and that's a good thing. hahahahahahahaha! NAH..honestly..i really think it would be nice to grow old with him. a simple life...precisely what i want. but of couse, i want to be a rich woman living a simple life. hahahaha! i could make it happen...why not diba? hehehe!

and besides..he makes me feel good..that im important..that im worth something..its hard to find a guy who wont treat you like shit..actually its hard to find a guy who's not shit period! hehehehe!

i think i better end this..before i make a whole novel about one fucking event!gonna try to eat now..the way things are going, its either i sit there and play with my fork or id eat ALOT and feel much worse afterwards..id rather play with my fork...

ciara..just think...summer..beach..pink 2-PC.,,you dont want to look like you're pregnant right??

[to fall in love is to lose control..damn right! 28^ ]

& our love goes round and round; 3/06/2004 09:29:00 PM
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the worst has come...his cellphone got stolen! ampoota! the only thing that i could use to somehow reach him..and now its gone!? all i could do now is wait for him to text me..from whoever's phone...i dont even know what's happening to him now..i feel so helpless..and im half expecting that we'll end up breaking up..but i really dont want to..if i have to walk the aisle of baclaran church on my knees..i will. hahahahaha! wala lang..you know what they say, that you wont know how important someone is to you until you cant reach him anymore, or you dont feel his presence anymore...EKSAKTO!i feel empty..stupid as it may sound..i really do.

that's why i decided i had to go somewhere..i need to get out of the house at least..kahit saglit lang!! good thing my sister wanted to make fridge cake, we ran out of condensed milk..so i went to a mall to buy her one, and besides, i need a change of atmosphere..a pink square room is not good for me right now..stayed there for a few hours then went home since no one knew i went out except of course for my sisters.

i was talking to my friend a while ago and told her what happened..she told me "pano yan cia, para ka na ren nawalan ng bf.." NOT HELPING!! i want to talk to him now but of course i dont know how..i was even sooo stupid to tell him that i have an extra sim when he told about what happened to his cell..then i suddenly realized...so what if i have an extra sim..what's the use of a sim if he doesnt have a phone! ambobo! what, pag tinitigan nya yung sim baka nga naman magring eh no? nakakainis!

panic na kasi ko e..even his sister's cell was taken by that sonofabitch! he said someone mustve reached in from the window and took the 2 cellphones on the table..

fuck! fuck! fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!!!

i wanna kill whoever took their cell! i swear! pag nalaman ko kung sino yun..kahit siguro patawarin nila..ako..SASAPAKIN KO!!! leche sya!

but you know what..im more scared than im frustrated...scared that this might trigger what ive been fearing since the moment we became "us" i dont want to lose him because of this..pero san naman kasi kami pupulutin..ganto, di na nga nagkikita, now, yung kaisa-isang way na narereach ko sya wala na! i just hope he doesnt give up..sana ako ren...pero i doubt that i will..im a fighter..at least, i think i am..

[to fall in love is to lose control..damn right! 28^ ]

& our love goes round and round; 3/06/2004 06:54:00 PM
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March 05, 2004
this i think is the my longest post so far..dont worry..it will get longer pa. hahaha! de..i saw this..i think i was supposed to post this yesterday...but i fell asleep (yeah! for a change..maaga ko natulog..mga 11pm. hehe) anyway..here goes..

o0o0o0o

do you know that feeling when you get soooo irritated at something or someone, everything's a mess..and you mutter to yourself 'it couldn't get any worse than this' then it would..and you'd feel like killing the first person you see..then all of a sudden your phone hollers 'eh-oh ang beee ah-bay ah-bay..." (if you dont get it, that's actually the coke ko to ad..ngongo version. hehehe) and after reading a very simple message..everything fades..and you...well...you look like you're high on something..you cant help but smile..hehe! wala lang..its just that this day was..uhmmm..interesting..ive reached the extremes in less than a min. haha! a lot of things happened..which really caused my mood swings to kick in... but the good thing was..it ended perfectly...let me quote crazy beautiful's kirsten dunst:

"there are millions of people out there..but in the end, it all comes down to one..."

well in my case..it all comes down to HIM ...

its like no matter how bad things could be, i can always count on him to put me out of my misery and just be undeniably happy..as in the kinda of happiness that makes you high...i dont know how he does it.. but he's really doing a great job. he keeps me sane...and that..is something that's hard to do. hahahahaha!

everyone knows what a daydreamer i am..lately its all been him, (duh!) except of course those occassional "untouchable" crush series..hehehe! well anyway..i think im going bananas.hahaha! coz unlike my regular daydreaming sessions, those of him seem soooo real..as in..i could feel something...solid, but not quite..haha! told yah im going bananas! maybe i just miss him so bad..=[

we were talking/texting a while ago, and he said something so sweet i felt like i was melting on the spot..i replied with an overused joke 'ok..pwede na kong mamatay ngayon' blah blah blah...i didnt expect him to reply anymore..since it was really late, and i told him we should sleep already, but he did..and his reply was simple 'pagnamatay ka pano na ko..wag naman..' i was like..pwede isang beses lang sa isang gabi??baka magkasakit ako sa puso nyan e!see..he's not the kinda guy who's sweet 24/7..that's why when he's in the mood (and he was on a roll today..really..must be something he ate..) you'd really appreciate it..na its real..not something out of routine..id rather have that kind of sweetness than get bombarded by it every min of every day then at the end id realize that it all meant nothing..nasanay lang sya..and that's about it..wala lang...i dont like fake people...not as friends,never as bfs...

o0o0o0o


watched somethings gotta give kanina..ai yesterday pala...it was really good..i mean..twas funny..but come the part when they were going to do it..even a single kiss..it was a very disturbing sight..sobrang kinilabatutan ako! like im watching my grandparents make out or something..hello! not good! kadiri pooo!! but all in all..it was good..funny..saw jack nicholson's butt. hahahaha! paris was amazing..i miss being there..although i have only been there for 2 days..2 tiring days..i really enjoyed the city..it was true what they say that Paris is the place to fall in love..a lot of cute french!hahahahaha! back to the movie..so..yeah..it has the aaaww.. parts and the bwahahahahaha scenes.. and of course...the shock of my life when i saw Keanu (he played the doctor of nicholson who fell in love with diane keaton, got together with her but in the end let her go...anti climax ba? HAHAHAHAHAHA! BINASA NYO EH!)

HE WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT* DAMN! and he's a doctor...he has brains in this movie.. he's clean.. he's like a highschool boy when he's nervous..he's friggin HOT!shit!! is he really gay? can i make him a man again??

hahahahahahahahahahaha!

[to fall in love is to lose control..damn right! 28^ ]

& our love goes round and round; 3/05/2004 02:47:00 AM
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sorry but i just have to add...when did losyangs become "in"? and why havent anyone told me about it yet?? take my friends' ex's new "gf"..

first..the story...

he met her at common ground..my friend and him were still together at that time..gumimik kami, we saw him there..so kat told yula (my friend and his gf) that he's there nga..apparently she doesnt know, they fought..but we tried to patch things up..the guy, lets call him...jay, and i were supposed to go home together, i mean, since its late..and im with my sis and its dangerous, being the bf of my close friend and well, sort of my friend too, he offered to go with us nalang. it was jampacked that night..as in..i could see him fro where i was seated..suddenly, he was dancing with this girl, although the girl's back was at me..so i didnt see her pa. i thought, well, jay isnt that bad looking, maybe the girl was the one who approached him, and being the gentleman that i thought he was, he danced with the girl. and i remember that that girl was dancing with another guy a while ago..then blah blah blah..to make the story short, we didnt leave together, nagpaiwan sya. una i didnt think much about it..it was just 2:30, that's really early pa nga.but we just gotta go home. then a few days, maybe a week or so, yu & jay broke up..he said.."madali ako magsawa" what kinda break up line was that??

then a few days ago, kat told me to cheq his friendster if i wanted to laugh..so i did.. that's when i found out what happened at common ground after we left..sila na pala..although surprisingly, he still hasnt changed his status..still single.

anyhoo, my curiousity took over, i also cheqd out the girls page...viewed her pics..and look at what i saw..damn! and she even had the nerve to put in her about me: pretty ???? PATAWARIN!!!! anaknang.. if she's pretty..then nobody's ugly! well, the heck..magsama sila..an asshole and an assface..no wait...i think my ass looks better than that. hahahahahaha! me..once again..being the bitch that i am. hahahahaha! bakit?? MAGANDA BA SYA?? mukha syang nanay, or labandera... "deh-op mu 'day??" im no pretty face myself..but GAWD i hope i dont look that bad! mukha pa tlgang matanda e! and she's with a 19 yr old guy..she looks...27?30+ even! hahahhaha!


i know a similar story..my friend is really pretty ha! she's sweet and nice too.. she even asked her dad to give his boyfriend a job (her dad owns a business..something about sound systems) and this guy..a total A-S-S, is two-timing her...he even had the guts to invite that girl to an event when he knows very well that my friend would be there! low life prick! and yes..she's another losyang/nanay/labandera! i swear..i was like..no way.."are you sure its the girl wearing white with blue sleeves? baka naman yun ang nanay nya ha?" kasi PROMISE!! she must be..around..30? gRABEEEE! no exagge! guys now-a-days! i know appealing ang older women..pero..to go for losyang types? MAN THAT'S SO LOW! i told my friend to leave him na..harapan na mambastos kasi e..she deserves soooo much better no! anakng...pagpapalit ka nalang..sa panget pa..di ba insulto yun? but come to think about it..it's ok..bagay sila! you can find someone better than him..and he would be stuck with a girl that would pass as his mom! hahahahahaha! sayang i dont have a picture of that girl..i swear..mapapakapit ka! tapos compare mo pa sa friend ko..she may not be yung sobrang sexy.. pero pretty sya in her own way..i hope..happy na sya ngayon..coz she deserves to be..SOBRA!

well..let's just hope that i wont share the same fate as my friends..coz honestly, of all the guys who came and went, this guy...is the one that i hope wont hurt me..he's my last chance! or else..i dont think i could ever risk my heart again..its just that..iba kasi to eh..makapal man..but everytime i got hurt by some asshole, i could always say to myself.."bahala kayo! at least i still have edwin..mahal ako nun!" i just dont know what would happen to me if he would be the one to hurt me..if it would turn out that he's just like most guys..wag naman sana...this time i mean it..i want to make this work! it would be hard, i know..but i couldnt care less..fuck `em! im in love! hahahahaha!

but really...i look so maldita when compared to him. hahahaha! my friends even scold at me when i start getting paranoid already..mas kampi sila sa kanya eh! although they havent met him yet. as in personally ha.. ako daw kasi yung mas gago e..but i promise..i wont do anything stupid...i would really try to be good this time. di na ko nangaaway. haha! carino brutal e! lol!

o0o0o0o

Question of the Day:
same thing..you can have anything you want in the world!! even have the planet named after you..you just gotta do one thing..ride a helicopter.. pero.. dun ka sa elesi naka-upo...WOULD YOU DO IT? ;P

[to fall in love is to lose control..damn right! 28^ ]

& our love goes round and round; 3/05/2004 01:06:00 AM
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March 04, 2004
does anybody here know that smell..the smell of...decay and dirt and sweat..i cant really describe it. but damn, its been haunting me for the last 5 bus rides home!! NO! it wasnt me..it was the people who either sat beside me, or stood beside me..with their elbows right in front of my face (do i have to tell you what attaches the arm to the body..yes..the elbow is near there..and yes! near my face too! WAAAAAAH!) i dont get it..do guys..older guys..really smell that way? as in..natural na sya? coz i think every guy who sat beside me smelled like that...its suffocating! And sometimes if you’re lucky enough, may hahalo pang asim..its like a sinigang that has gone terribly..and I mean TERRIBLY WRONG! Sometimes, I have to stop myself from blurting.. “pwede pakibaba po…” or “ano yun..bat ang baho!” out loud.. you don’t know how hard that is. Problem pa.. LAGING TRAFFIC! Tapos, I have no other seat to transfer to. Im stuck there.. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!! I swear I wanna die on the spot..or kill that guy! Hahahahahaha! Its unbearable..i had to breathe through my mouth. Or id face the window and squeeze myself at that tiny spot there.. I risked having an asthma attack from the dust on the seat (normally, its not leather or walang plastic..parang carpet material..so just imagine how that collects dust!) but id rather have asthma..at least.. I wont have to put up with the smell.

o0o0o0o

American idol’s up…the 3 are of course.. ruthless…specially simon, well, what’s new? So far, 5 had finished singing.. I liked that girl with the suspenders and this 5th girl.. but no one had given a “WOW” performance yet.. girl #5, Lisa, almost impressed me..but I have to agree with simon…kulang paren…I don’t know what happened..the first group..well I liked almost everyone there..i had a hard time choosing actually..but yeah..fantasia (or whatever that big lipped girl’s name was) was A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!

I was really looking forward to the 2nd group.. I was expecting them to be better than the first since they had more time to practice, and they saw what happened to the first group already, they know what the judges expect to see..and yet.. here they are..screwing up BIG TIME! Got 2 more to go, the 6th just finished --HAHA! SIMON IS SOOOO BAD! I LOVE HIM! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry pal!— but there’s no denying.. he was bad..

Camille’s up (so close kami?) hey I like her voice..hehe! one last cry..how videoke-ey could you get.hehe! but yeah..i like her!! =] as simon said..the best of the group..but then again..there’s one more to go..wait lang ha..ryan asked the contestants what they want to do,or was it what they think, I forgot (dory syndrome), about simon bakit!!! I love Simon kaya!!! Camille’s right..he’s sexy. HAHAHAHA! Ok, that’s a bit overdoing it.. They’re showing the episode of simpsons where simon was in..cool! tanong lang..what do they have against Simon? I mean..most of the time..he is right..he just don’t hold back on the insult. Hehe! but what’s so wrong about that? That life! Hehe! commercial pa..pa-suspense pa!

Hey..the last isn’t that bad…but I like Camille better..sorry..

o0o0o0o

I haven’t heard from him today..but then again..he didn’t hear from me too. Hehe! i guess he has no load already..and me..I…was busy. Hahahaha! Honestly..i was! And..i texted him naman tonight..to say goodnight. He’s bday’s near..im planning to surprise him… I want to go to his school…wala lang… maybe buy a cake or something..simple lang. I just want to see him really..and what better day to do it than his bday? It falls on a Monday..which I don’t think would be a problem..as long as di topakin si Sir and give us another “quiz/exercise”. Id probably not go to class altogether..since I only have one class, which is admedia…so.. attend admedia or surprise him on his bday and get to be with him at the same time… trick question ba to???

o0o0o0o

ive been eyeing this hot pink 2-pc swim suit..its really really cute..but I don’t think that I could pull it off..i mean HELLO! I look like im 3 months pregnant! Hahahaha! Kailangan ko na pumayaaaaaaaaaat!!! I hate it when I see this perfect outfit..but for some reason, I cant wear it..there are certain clothes lang tlga that would look good on me..others.. don’t even think about it.

But I really like that pink suit! why does chocolate have to taste soooo good???!!!Hmpf!! just look at it..who in her right mind wont be tempted to eat that--knowing that it tastes even better than how it looks!!! huhuhuuu...nakakainis!!

The block’s planning to have another outing… im excited! And we still have a month to go! Haha~ but hey..a month would go by fast.. dami dami kasi nigagawa e.

[to fall in love is to lose control..damn right! 28^ ]

& our love goes round and round; 3/04/2004 11:24:00 PM
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March 02, 2004
how about that...ive been online for about 2 hours now. haha! is surfmaxx free around this time?btw, it's already 3:00am..well, almost..i just have to add this..

i suddenly rememberd my dream last night...of all the guys in manila, HOW THE HELL did JOEY MARQUEZ managed to ruin my supposed to be good dream..when i woke up, i couldnt speak..i was dumbstruck...me..joey's new kabit?? man! good thing that was jsut a dream,.or more of a nightmare..man! WHY?? WHY HIM?? WHY ME??!?!?!?! andami daming lalake sa mundo...joey marquez???i dont know whether im gonna laugh or throw up...its a very disturbing dream..REALLY?! it would have been great if it were gabby lopez, or richard gere (hey! its a dream right?) but..JOEY MARQUEZ??

whhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???????

i hope id dream of someone..worth dreaming about tonight..or id rather not have a dream at all..reality never looked soooooo good! hahahahahahaha! gotta sleep now..

..ooohh..i have a crush...in hipstir..name's jed..phil-am..we're sort of friends..sort of...but that's just a crush..hehe! defensive! de..totoo..crush lang tlga..gwapo e.. ;p

[to fall in love is to lose control..damn right! 28^ ]

& our love goes round and round; 3/02/2004 02:41:00 AM
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im doing this offline coz although we have about 50+ net hours, each card would only be good for an hour, which for me is a real hassle coz ever hour, i have to get another card and scratch off tht silver thingie then connect but again for about another 30mins...see..my sister exchanged our old and used cards for new one..yeah..pretty good deal right? 1 used card=1hr net card...so we found 50+ cards and now we have high stacks of new net cards..one hour each...hehehe!

o0o0o0o

was playing first believed by hoku and now im listening to tamia's officially missing you..haaaaay* now i miss him even more.. i was planning to meet him tom..even for just an hour or two..but he has OJT from 8-5..so asa pa ko..i cant wait for him coz that'll be too late..and you naman my mom and dad..nagfifreak pag nasisinagan ako ng buwan. ahahaha! im running out of reasons na ren to tell them why i always come home late eh..im trying to promote myself from being the black sheep to the brown sheep nalang.hahaha!may inuman this friday..so id better be good... and besides, i cant go there before 8..that'll be suicide dear! hahahahaha!just think..i sleep at around 2am..if i want to catch him before he goes off to his work, i should leave at about 5am, so i have to wake up around 4:30am? are you beer?!?!? 2-4:30, natulog pa ko!!

o0o0o0o

i was looking for a survey at friendster's bulletin a while ago...a friend of mine wrote this in one of the many surveys flooding my bulletin board

what hurts most?: not love, not hate...but indifference.

couldn't have said it better myself! damn!!

o0o0o0o

You are NEMO!
What Finding Nemo Character are You?

brought to you by Quizilla

YEEEEEEEEY! im NEMOOOOOOOOOO!! but i like dory den..hehe!

o0o0o0o

do try the milk lotion of j&j..among the many lotions that ive tried and hated, this was one of the very few that i really would like to use..but only during the night..with hot hot hot HOT days that we have, im sure, you'd feel icky..and it'd be hotter..might you use the wrong brand..believe me..sweat and lotion THEY DONT MATCH!

o0o0o0o

i have the biggest crush on my friends neighbor, andrew..id always sit by the door of their apartment and make pacute whenever im there. hahahahaha! i swear he's to drool over! as in literal! my friends and i are even joking that we should get one of his boxers as remembrance since dun sila nagsasampay malapit sa apartment ng friend ko. but of course..im not that stupid..that's just so...creepy! hahahaha! anyway, i found out that he made out with this girl, someone i really HATE! coz she's all 'listen to me, ang ganda ko e...buhay ko lang pakinggan nyo...'as in i swear..nakakairita..i dont talk to her na nga..whenever she's there, id talk to someone else andturn my back at her. when she greets me, i simply nod..no smile whatsoever! bakit?close kami?? if she wasn't a friend of my friend, i would totally ignore her..pero mejo na naman ngayon..and i think she feels it. hello ewan ko nalang no! wala..di lang tlga ko plastic.kung ayaw ko, wag ka nang umasang kakausapin kita.anyway back to andrew..so there..he had a bet with my other friend, jordan..to you know..that girl...and stupid..he did! i lost all my respect for him..really! his 'pokpokish' girlfriend was a bit tolerable pa..minsan tlga ganun e...gwapo guy..'pokpok' gf..tsk! but for him to go lower than that..that's just too much! i almost puked when kat told me what he did..as in literal tlga! nasusuka ko! tapos..parang...uhmmmm..this probably is too much info..but the story wont be complete without this last bit...i think he caught STD..although im noone's sure if its really from 'the girl'..but still...YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!!! MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR TURN OFF TLGA!!!! HMPF!

o0o0o0o

Question of the Day:
what if someone offered you all the money in the world, even change the name of our planet into your name...pero dapat mapalamig mo yung sun using only your spit..would you do it?? hahahahahahahaha! IDOL!

[to fall in love is to lose control..damn right! 28^ ]

& our love goes round and round; 3/02/2004 12:56:00 AM
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March 01, 2004
so damn hot today..im sweating like a pig! hahahaha! marns and i were trying to make something out of papers and cartolinas and stuff to make the adcreate bulletin board a tad more interesting..or at least for the sake of the grade that we didnt know they were giving to org bbS..so i got to savor the heat..fuck! then we had a quiz on CPM for admedia..i think i have calouses from poking the calcu too much..it drained all the energy left in me..plus the heat..bad combination! grrrrrr!

i went to town after class..guess what?i saw bryan crush! haha! and kat and yula were nice enough to fucking shout "BRYAN" for everyone to hear..i think i turned as pink as my shirt...i was really about to leave them..good thing bryan didnt come back to see who called him,,or i would really run! haha! then we strolled for a bit, i saw him again..i kept quiet this time..good thing kat and yula were busy talking so they didnt see him..but a few mins later, it was my chance! diago was near us, and kat and yula knows him..so i yelled. hahahahahaha! kwits na! ;)

[to fall in love is to lose control..damn right! 28^ ]

& our love goes round and round; 3/01/2004 09:13:00 PM
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the other day, i remember a new found friend of mine telling my other problematic friend that guys can tell you that they love you even if they dont mean it..you know, just for the sake of saying it...and the thing is, we girls, when we do tell a guy those 3 words, we really really do mean it..could guys really be that insensitive? then i thought of another thing..when your boyfriend tells you iloveyou like.. everytime..its like a sentence wont be complete without it, like in text messages, it's as if iloveyou serves as the "period" or something...in those cases...could he really mean it..or is he just saying that coz he knows that's what you want to hear..or that..he's just used to it, but other than that, its just words...can that really happen, you know, when you reach the point that you just say things like that as if it was nothing? or lets say..that you've reached that point already..how would i know? ...are there signs? dont they know its important to a girl like me..that i give SO MUCH importance to those 3 words..that each time they say it, i take it seriously?dont get me wrong, im no pleasure seeker..its actually ok with me if you dont tell me you love me like every hour of the day...id rather that you dont always say it, but when you do..you should mean it..as in REALLY REALLY MEAN IT.. is that wrong?am i asking too much..

someone give me an answer..an honest one..from anyone out there..girls or guys...especially from the guys..

[to fall in love is to lose control..damn right! 28^ ]

& our love goes round and round; 3/01/2004 12:19:00 AM
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random dashboard

so you wont have a hard time buying gifts for me this christmas, here's my long list: (i know, ang aga)

1. Macbook
2. DSLR Camera
3. Diving Equip (in this order: mask, snorkel, fins, wetsuit, regulator, BCD, tank)
4. Dive trip (tubataha or kota k or apo reef or palau...keri na hehe)
5. Shopping spree at Ross/Home depot/Target
6. shoes, any kind with heels not higher than 2" (im 7 1/2)
7. my first ever havaianas (brazzziiiilllll)
8. a beanbag or a cool comfy chair
9. flat screen TV, hehe.
10. a year supply of booze (if beer, RH lang pls)
11. Art materials (any medium, from crayons and coloring books to canvass and acrylics)
12. Drumset or Kahon. (wlang pilosopo)
13. Oven. i want to bake.
14. punching bag and gloves
15. a leather basketball.


Of course, Money is always the best. that way you know i will get what i really want.

And look at it this way, if you give me any of my top 5, i can consider that as an early bday gift as well. hehe :)

Pa-Fedex nalang ah, PM me for my address hehehehe! thanks dear santa clauses!

behind the wheel

still the same ciara, just with more work and longer messier hair. ah and yes, a certified diver now, not that i have the time and money to dive anyway. maybe by november/december/january soon.

traffic jam

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on reverse

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GPS system

Locations of visitors to this page
this is my way to stalk all you readers. mwahahahahahahaha! coolness!

credits

1 & 2