January 25, 2004 im missing someone i shouldnt miss (bad!) =[ this is crazy..definitely..i want to see him..be with him..feel him beside me..im trying to shut him out of my system but to my dismay..i fucking cant!! i know that it cant go anywhere from here...but deep within im actually hoping it would..and its so frustrating to hope for something that you know can and will never be?! im creating my own cross again so to speak..i dont like what im feeling..im scared coz i might actually be beginning to fall for this guy.. not another dead end relationship..im sick and tired of those..please please..save me! why cant i fall for someone normal..someone who's not complicated to work a relationship with..you know..someone who live near here?!?!?! i need a drink .. i definitely need a drink!!!

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

for those of you, if there are any, who are reading this..if you have a friendster account..or myspace..ADD ME!! HJEHEHEHE! ciara mojica..orayt??

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

read "by the river piedra, i sat down and wept" lately..uhmmm..its ok..i mean..it would have been the perfect "ouch! is this book written to tell the story of my life" book if it were'nt too ... how do i put this..religious..hey, dont get me wrong here, its not that i dont like God or anything..its just that, after i took philosophy, i had a lot of doubts about things..one of which is our religion..sorry..but things like that happen sometimes. well anyways..there were parts in that book when i just wanted to stop and throw it! not that it sucks..but because..as ive said..its a "ouch! is this book written to tell the story of my life" book..almost..hehe! like when the guy said.. i know you dont love me, but im still going to fight for you..coz there are some things worth fighting for..or something to that effect..and there's this one time that the girl described love..wait..let me get the book..ayt? here you go:

"it's risky, falling in love."

"i know that," I answered. "i've been in love before. it's like a narcotic. at first it brings the euphoria of complete surrender. the next day you want more. you're not addicted yet, but you like the sensation, and you think you can still control things. you think about the person you love for two minutes, and forget them for three hours.
but then you get used to that person, and you begin to be completely dependent on them. now you think about him for three hours and forget him for two minutes. if there's nothing there, you feel like an addict who cant get a fix. and just as addicts steal and humiliate themselves to get what they need, you're willing to do anything for love."

(blah blah blahs..and the best part of it all...)

"so we should love only those who can stay near us," I said.

waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! huhuhuuuuuuuu... i told you...i told you this book was written for me...specially the last part...fuck! >= (

[don't hate the player, hate the game!]

random dashboard

so you wont have a hard time buying gifts for me this christmas, here's my long list: (i know, ang aga)

1. Macbook
2. DSLR Camera
3. Diving Equip (in this order: mask, snorkel, fins, wetsuit, regulator, BCD, tank)
4. Dive trip (tubataha or kota k or apo reef or palau...keri na hehe)
5. Shopping spree at Ross/Home depot/Target
6. shoes, any kind with heels not higher than 2" (im 7 1/2)
7. my first ever havaianas (brazzziiiilllll)
8. a beanbag or a cool comfy chair
9. flat screen TV, hehe.
10. a year supply of booze (if beer, RH lang pls)
11. Art materials (any medium, from crayons and coloring books to canvass and acrylics)
12. Drumset or Kahon. (wlang pilosopo)
13. Oven. i want to bake.
14. punching bag and gloves
15. a leather basketball.


Of course, Money is always the best. that way you know i will get what i really want.

And look at it this way, if you give me any of my top 5, i can consider that as an early bday gift as well. hehe :)

Pa-Fedex nalang ah, PM me for my address hehehehe! thanks dear santa clauses!

behind the wheel

still the same ciara, just with more work and longer messier hair. ah and yes, a certified diver now, not that i have the time and money to dive anyway. maybe by november/december/january soon.

traffic jam

linkages

[pblog][more pictures]

[ciox] [maan] [chA] [michellE] [russ] [marns] [rJ] [tiN] [elainE] [pontifF] [mye] [jumie] [ate sunit] [ana banana] [chi ulit] [angge]

[pajammy] [jessica zafra] [post secret] [howie severino] [ala-ism] [jim paredes] [mitch dulce] [intrigero] [scotland]

[papu] [myiE] [lara] [kayE] [maky] [raece] [caffeine_rush] [the_paradox] [weird_spag] [noside] [k_Ann] [pesteng_ahem] [sabitskipoint] [claudine] [carlo] [shai] [jassy] [rc] [mai] [bubay] [koolotitay]

on reverse

12/03 01/04 02/04 03/04 04/04 05/04 06/04 07/04 08/04 09/04 10/04 11/04 12/04 01/05 02/05 03/05 04/05 05/05 06/05 07/05 08/05 09/05 10/05 11/05 12/05 01/06 02/06 03/06 04/06 05/06 06/06 07/06 08/06 09/06 10/06 11/06 12/06 01/07 02/07 03/07 04/07 05/07 06/07 07/07 08/07 09/07 10/07 11/07 12/07 01/08 02/08 03/08 04/08 05/08 06/08 07/08 08/08 09/08 10/08 11/08 12/08 01/09 02/09 10/09 12/09 08/10  

GPS system

this is my way to stalk all you readers. mwahahahahahahaha! coolness!

credits

1 & 2